For the last several months, "On Call" duty at work has been a quiet kind of endevour, just the way we like it at work. Last night at midnight though, I got my first call since Friday morning, when I took my turn, (Don's actually, but he traded weeks with me two weeks ago, so that I could go to the auction and get my Dodge pickup truck.). Not too bad, an hour, fifteen round trip, two hours call back minimum per run, another call at 7 this morning, another hour, fifteen actual time, two hour minimum per run payment, then things went south on me.

Arriving home from the call this morning, I decided to do the yard work I've not had time to do these past few weekends. I trimmed a few hedges and plants, sprayed roundup on the cracks of the driveway where weeds are growing through, sprinkled fire ant killer on a couple rather large mounds and started my weedeating. (The park provides mowing of the lawns, but we're responsible for the rest.) I weedeated the driveway and the front of the house, no problemo, I'm in the zone! Around the corner and into the "Jungle Zone" that is my backyard, I'm leaving a wake of cut grass, weeds and anything else that gets in my way. Then all of a sudden, BBRRRRRrrrrrr.... "BLLLP!!!", uh oh, not good!

I laid the weedeater down on the ground and headed to the other end of the shaft. I lift the weedeater head for a closer look. Upon my initial quick scan, I noticed that a rather large wad, (wad is the technical term for "hunka"), weeds and grass. Whew..... Not a problem, have that fixed in a jiffy! (Now, at this point, a vaguely familiar quote, something about...... "the best laid plans of mice and men"......., drifts through my mind.) I start tugging at the flora that is clogging my weedeater, one good tug, two good tugs, three good tugs.......... I hear "click"....... brrrrrRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! and OMG! ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!!!! $H1T HITS THE FAN!!!! (Or as Granny says, "The poo falls in the stew!") I believe I yelped at a decibel so high that only dogs and teenaged girls at the mall could hear! The weedeater is spinning in one direction, I'm spinning in the opposite, in what could only be described as a scene out of a VERY bad martial arts movie. Fur was flying, shredded bits of clothing floating around, bouncing across the back yard, like some whirling dervish from hell! As I performed my last "triple spin, pray like hell I don't break nothing, which way is up" move, (Please, don't try this stunt at home, the results can get very ugly!), I hurled that dang weedeater a good 30 - 40 feet up in the air, and it landed with a "THUD!" right on the back of my head!

When I came to, several minutes later, I was quite pleased to find that the weedeater had again quit running! GOOD NEWS!!! I stood up, inspected what was left of my clothing, shook all my body parts to check for broken bones.... (MORE GOOD NEWS! NONE!!!), and staggered back into the house. When I stumbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I was quite horrified! OMG!!! What the hell happened!!! I started out this morning looking like this:



After this most horrific incident, it could take days, weeks, months or even years to work through.....

THIS IS WHAT I SAW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prepare yourself.......

children should be kept away from here due to the graphic nature of this incident.........

you've been warned!!!!!!



I told you it was an ugly site!!!!

Shake the sand from your shoes, the dirt from your eyes and the ants from your pants, keep a tight grip on your weedeaters, but most of all, have a safe and enjoyable weekend!

Later gators!