I am about to write one of those posts of mine. It may be a little twisted but what the hell, so am I.
I don't know if it's normal that I can go from the mooshy "Dear Santa" post to one of these. I am actually a bit worried about it. Ha.
So dig this: I have gotten the finger twice in two days.
Yesterday afternoon I was heading to a meeting and came to the first red light by my house. And that's like...oh...two blocks from my house, and bear in mind that I don't live in a big city so they're not like the kind of block you may encounter in say New York or something. So anyway, I patiently sat there behind the wheel of my 4x4 Durango (Stu, I had a bizarre dream last night about you riding bouncing around in the truck with me, by the way) and watched two cars make their way through the green light. And I had noticed that the chick in front of me in one of those slick low to the ground cars was talking on her cell phone. I patiently waited for her to make her way through the light but she wasn't moving.
I watched the little countdown timer on the crosswalk sign make its way to "five" and still she hadn't moved. So I gave the horn a quick little toot. And still she didn't move. Another glance at the crosswalk countdown timer showed the number three so I gave Daisy's (look, everyone in my life objected to naming Mak "Daisy" so I gave it to my truck, okay) horn a longer more meaningful toot. And that's when it happened....
That bold little chicka who was literally half my size threw her hands into the air as if to say "so what" to me. I raised my hand into the air and realized that birds were flying everywhere. She was flying two of them in my direction. Shit, the bold little bitcha even put her phone in her mouth so she could manuever the stunt without missing a beat! And my gesture mimicked hers, except I chose to use one tough and stout bird instead of two. And then, of course, when she finally made her way through the light I pulled what could have been *clearing my throat* considered a road rage maneuver and tailgated her slick little car's ass until it turned into the gas station. And then she got the bird again, just for good measure. 
The thing is, I was shocked at myself for doing it-- No, not the tailgating thing because I have a big truck and roll like that-- *snort* the bird thing because I quit doing that. I became more in control of my emotions at some point and flying birds at passersby didn't fit in there anywhere. But yesterday it just...happened.
This afternoon I was sitting behind at a Stop sign not even a block away from my house. The chick in front of me made her way through the stop after waiting for the three second rule to clear her and out of nowhere came this haughty middle-aged woman, barreling right through the Stop sign. I was like, "Shit, that chick's gonna get slammed," but, thankfully, she saw the woman coming and slammed on her brakes. And then the middle-aged woman started yelling, which was quite obvious even though her windows were rolled up, her arms flailing in every direction and something inside me went pop. I tooted my horn at her and made this weird stop sign kind of invisible drawing with my finger and told her that she had to fucking stop. And I meant "you have to stop" in every sense. My sky drawing was enough to divert her attention away from the young girl in front of me--then again, I was a big girl in a big truck motioning into the air probably much in the same way as a person who is crazy enough to simply not give a damn--to make her way down the street. But shit. Two pissed off women in two days. Two pissed off women flying the bird at me.
Today's didn't bother me because that haughty ass needed to know that she was wrong so she wouldn't come flying down that street one day and really hurt people. But yesterday's birds pissed me off. Why? Because I wouldn't have tooted my horn had the woman been reasoning with a child in the backseat or just staring off into space. The reason I tooted my horn was because she was behind the wheel of a fucking car and totally shucking that responsibility to talk on the phone, which happens to be one of my biggest pet peeves. Shut up and drive, people.
In some strange way both incidents were my way of righting wrongs; I've been on that kick lately.
And now I think I will go and reread my "Dear Santa" post. *cackle*