It's nice to have a reminder that we have things to be thankful for and a national event that pushes everyone to get together with family and at least think about having a decent meal for once. Whether those goals are met is something else, and it's not always a bad thing if they aren't, as long as you're okay with the outcome.

I was reading an article about how to strategize to have a good holiday meal even with difficult people there:"If you have a challenging family, it's only human to be a bit incredulous and then more than a bit jealous to see other folks living out the holiday fantasy when you're just trying to live through it."

10 tips for surviving a 'challenging' Thanksgiving

One of the suggestions:

"Invite "buffers." Most people's manners improve when outsiders enter the scene. If you can count on your family to put their best feet forward for company, invite some. (If not, don't.) There are always people who would love a place to go on holidays or who would like to experience a real American Thanksgiving. Think about elderly people in your church or community whose grown children live far away, or divorced friends whose kids are with the other parent this year, or foreign exchange students from your local high school or college."

Several years ago I was one of these buffer people. If that family's manners improved for my sake, I shudder to think what they were the rest of the time. The spoiled grandson was a pain in the butt, and the clincher was when he sat at the table and squirted about half a can of whipped topping into his mouth from the can while the adults at first pretended to remonstrate, and then just approved of it because he wasn't going to listen to anyone. It was gross.

I have also gone the other route where I stayed home alone. It's not the worst thing - you get to cook what you want, do what you want, don't have to make small talk. I highly recommend preparing some special treat in recognition of the day because there is bound to be that moment when you realize that all over the country families - from the most harmonious to the more dysfunctional - are sitting down to a nice dinner, and here you are by yourself with a can of tomato soup.