Laura

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troutbend
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Laura
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Estes Park, CO
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Hotel - Hospitality

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This Oughta Be Good

Entertainment > Humor > Frank Feldman
 

Frank Feldman



A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."

Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died. I'm married to his fuckin' widow"

posted on Dec 3, 2010 12:26 PM ()

Comments:

comment by marta on Dec 4, 2010 3:10 PM ()
This came from my friend Fran in Colorado, and made me wish we were in the same place, knitting and laughing, maybe a cup of hot spiced wine in hand.
reply by troutbend on Dec 5, 2010 12:29 PM ()
No snow.This is in the mountain area.Way up north.
Will be here one of these days.But no snow yet.Today is nice,Cold but sunny.
comment by fredo on Dec 4, 2010 9:12 AM ()
We've got the gas fire going for the cat. He loves it, being old as he is.
reply by troutbend on Dec 4, 2010 9:32 PM ()
Love it!
comment by elderjane on Dec 4, 2010 6:42 AM ()
My knitting friend Fran sent it - it's perfect, isn't it?
reply by troutbend on Dec 4, 2010 9:31 PM ()
No snow here. Sunny but cold.
comment by nittineedles on Dec 3, 2010 11:24 PM ()
All our weather comes from your area, seems like.
reply by troutbend on Dec 4, 2010 9:31 PM ()
How about when two who are widowed marry? Oh boy.
comment by tealstar on Dec 3, 2010 4:29 PM ()
Yes, that must be a real pissing match as to whose was more saintly.
reply by troutbend on Dec 3, 2010 8:13 PM ()
I loved it.
comment by fredo on Dec 3, 2010 2:59 PM ()
What's your weather there? Watching the Weather Channel, looked like you got some more snow. Stay warm.
reply by troutbend on Dec 3, 2010 8:12 PM ()
comment by nittineedles on Dec 3, 2010 1:48 PM ()
I'm not going to have enough blue yarn to do the front of my current cardigan, so am having to come up with a pattern that incorporates a second color. It was so much fun just knitting mindlessly, following the instructions as written. Too good to last, I'll do that next project.
reply by troutbend on Dec 3, 2010 8:11 PM ()
Love it
comment by febreze on Dec 3, 2010 12:34 PM ()
I had to re-read it and think about Mr. Troutbend being the one doing the talking. Yup, I'm guilty of a lot of that - no way can he drive safely without me there to give advice and use the invisible brake pedal. When he's out on his own, it's just an accident waiting to happen.
reply by troutbend on Dec 3, 2010 8:09 PM ()
fun one...
comment by anacoana on Dec 3, 2010 12:31 PM ()
This and that one about the chocolate chip cookies made me laugh out loud.
reply by troutbend on Dec 3, 2010 8:08 PM ()

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