I know many of you claim to not watch much television, and we don't either when in Las Vegas because we don't have cable there, and our reception varies depending on upstairs or downstairs. We have a couple of digital TVs but are still using a good-sized old one with a failing picture tube so the colors are off. It is like watching programs through a lava lamp - day glo oranges, electric blues, and everyone who smiles appears to have braces on their green teeth.

The other night I was changing channels and came across something called Wipe Out Zone that involved contestants trying to beat each other's time on an obstacle course that included giant bouncy balls that they were supposed to jump from one to the next to get across a lagoon. Nobody made it across without richocheting off the balls into the water. Keep in mind it was all orange and blue and overall dark on my set, so that added to the excitement because once every ten minutes the set would work right for about five seconds and I could actually see. It reminded me of that show Fear Factor but without eating the bugs and all the heights; sort of a sillier Fear Factor and plenty of opportunity to think 'that'll leave a mark.'

Then I saw a day-glo orange woman with green teeth win a million dollars on Deal or No Deal, the first time anyone has gone all the way. I wondered if there was some way the producers could rig it so someone would finally win or maybe people would stop watching it. My cousins in England are addicted to that show, but it is more understated over there.

There was a Denver Broncos/Arizona pre-season game with that orange swoop on the Bronco uniforms gleaming brightly out of the lava lamp gloom of my TV screen. It got old after awhile, plus they were playing their second team so I didn't watch for very long.

Finally I tried adjusting the color/contrast/sharpness knobs and it improved things some - now it was like watching lightly tinted black and white television, but the biggest drawback of live television is all the commercials and I think there are twice as many as there ever were, and even channel surfing doesn't satisfy, so I gave it up and returned to my book.