Straightening up my office, came across a project another nurse and I started years ago. We were gonna do an advice column like "Dear Abby." After all, every nurse we worked with had problems, and we were always offering advice. We were gonna call the column "Ask Pat." So we collated material and got a southside paper to agree to publish us, (without pay, of course.)

Here's some of the questions nurses gave us:

Dear Pat: "My brother in law Tommy is a great guy, generous and kind, respected by my husband and beloved by our kids. But I dread Tommy's visits to our house--he weighs nearly 400 lbs and has crashed one of my antique kitchen chairs, caused a permanent sag in one end of a new sofa, and with every visit I wonder what will be next. He is embarrassed and remorseful for these events. What can I do to make him comfortable--and safe--when he visits?"

Pat's answer: "We recommend you invest in a king sized recliner with steel under framing that can handle his weight, and tell him you bought this chair just for him. Also, you might want to get a wrought iron patio chair for him to sit in at the table--they're very sturdy. He will appreciate your thoughtfulness and it'll save your furniture.

Dear Pat: "My husband Rod is a policeman who works nights, I work 12 hour day shifts, so we see each other in passing. Lately I've noticed Rod talks a lot about the next door neighbor, a middle aged self styled vamp who invites him to her house to eat or brings food to our house while I'm at work. She gets Rod to do little repair jobs around her house and buys him gifts. He sees nothing wrong with this. I'm seething because instinct tells me she's putting the moves on him and he's susceptible. Should I confront her and tell her to leave Rod alone?"

Pat's answer: "You should see about working the same hours as Rod so you'll be there with him. Your instincts are right--she's putting the moves on him, and Rod is willing to be seduced. Confronting her might just send her to crying on Rod's shoulder and him defending her."

Anyway, we had several columns ready to go with stuff like this when the paper went out of business and it never got to print. Next time I'll write about another misadventure.
susil