Profile
Photos
Comments
This blog is winding down with a post about someone who has always loved me and will until the day he dies... Unfortunately, that day may be coming sooner than I expected. He and my dad are the primary reasons why I prefer men to women...
There are only the two of us and we were born close together. I am older and was given more attention than he was. Somehow, he never resented that. Yes, we did have lots of tiffs when we were kids, but I think that may have been normal. Once, he put pins in my bed. I wish I could remember what we argued about. But, the funny part was that they were very obvious. He had some ordinary pins, but he also added some gigantic safety pins. I saw them as soon as I lifted the covers.
Perhaps, we were close because of all of the moving we did. We were always the "outsiders." When I was concerned, he was the one I told. There was a time when my father was in the hospital. He was completely paralyzed and my mom stayed by his side the entire two years. So my brother and I stayed with our aunt and uncle. Once, they tried to play a trick on us. They bought a huge plastic spider. When we got home from school, I went to the bedroom and it was on the curtain. I stood stock still in the doorway. I didn't know what to do. I know now that my aunt was in the livingroom, watching me. But I didn't react. I slowly went in, put my books on the desk... all the time, keeping my eyes on that spider... then left the room.
I went to search out my brother. I told him about the huge spider and we went back to the bedroom. The spider was gone. I was in a panic because that meant the spider was hiding and could jump out at us (well... me) at any time. Because now I was panicking, my aunt came in to "see what was wrong." So, I told her about the spider. She pretended not to believe me. We left the bedroom and I closed the door. My brother and I went out to play. An hour or two later, I returned to the room and there was the spider -- on the bed! I rushed to get my brother and we both went to see the spider. My brother went to get my aunt, while I kept my eyes on the spider. When my aunt came in, she couldn't keep from laughing. Then she told us it was a fake spider.
I think the point was that my aunt was in an adjacent room when I first saw the spider, but I went all the way outside to get my brother. I didn't mention it to her, although she had always been sweet, fair, and wonderful.
My brother is the most sensible man I can think of. He will do anything to help anyone who needs it. He always helps. When they down-sized his hospital, he was afraid they would let him go because of his health issues. Of course, they couldn't let him go. He was too valuable a person. I think I mentioned in a former post somewhere that he is a member of Mensa. What I'm saying is that he is smart as well as compassionate.
He doesn't always tell you what you want to hear. He tells you the truth. He wants you to be okay in the end.
In the end..... I have not always gotten along with his wife. It was my fault because I have let myself become isolated. But I do hope that she starts speaking to me again before it's too late. If he's at the end of the line, I wish to hear it, so that I can be there. It will be hard in my circumstances, but I think that it would be do-able. Right now, I can't call him because his wife answers the phone... always. So, awhile ago, when I emailed him to ask when the best time to call him would be, he basically told me... not to call. This was the only instance that he didn't tell me the truth. He said he was extremely busy... he has always been busy.
Lord, my life is in shambles... all my own fault.
Please do not respond. I am going for awhile, and may not be back. Life is hard... for everyone. Please go to others' posts. Help them with your words. They need you ...
