The wiki definition of abandonment is refers to intentional and substantial abandonment, permanently or for a period of time stated by law, without legal excuse and without consent, of one's duties arising out of a status such as that of husband and wife or parent and child. It can involve desertion of a spouse with the intention of creating a permanent separation. Desertion of one spouse by the other without just cause is called malicious abandonment. In any event. I feel as though I have been abandoned by the woman who gave birth to me who will now be referred to as the "egg donor."

Sister M arrived on time on Wednesday at about 2 pm. We had a decent time but her staying with me put me in an awkward position. She does not care much for the extended family, I adore them and my own family most days. They are so nice and caring and giving to me. Since she didn't like them, I felt like I had to stay away to keep the peace. So on Saturday morning M headed to Aunt's house to pick up the parents dog and head home. My egg donor and father were supposed to come to see my new pad. They told me that under no circumstances were they helping me move. I paid a mover $250 to move me, so that they didn't have to do this. Do you think that my mother could set foot in my new home? Nope. Not at all.

My father arrived with my uncle in tow. I thought for sure it was a terrible joke. That she was not going to to really not come and she must be waiting in the car. Nope. She actually didn't come. When I tried to talk to her on the phone she screamed at my father and I. "I am not f-ing talking to right f-ing now, tell her that I will talk her f-ing later." And so I have made a decision about the season of giving. I am giving up. I am throwing in my towel. Why? Because I can't give 99.9% of this relationship and get absolutely nothing in return. I constantly seek her approval but there is always something that I do not do correctly. For example, If I were to get an A on a test she would ask me why I did not get an A+.

I feel as though they have maliciously abandoned me as their child. I am all alone here in the great place that I reside, and I do have friends and other family in the area. They make my life very rich and full. But why is it that the ones that we want to love cannot and will not love us back? This is why I think a relationship with a man who barely called me was acceptable. Because I am screwed up in the head.

Speaking of loving men who don't love you. SD sent me an e-card to commerate thanksigiving. What is so strange about this? I never got an e-card when we were dating (rarely), why the need to communicate? I feel as if he's stealing from me. Stealing my friendship-ish. I can't explain it.

Suffice it to say it's a low monday.

Hope you're doing better and had lovely time with your family.

SB