Three years to be precise. What's happened in that time? How long do you want this post be? HA!
It's funny you spend your life wishing to find that someone. Then you find that someone and you try to figure out, is this someone that I can live with for the rest of my life. Somedays you think, yes, this is easy. Others not so much.
Fungi and I are struggling in our relationship. You see it's been 7 years, and we have fallen into our bad habits and shown our true colors. Somedays he thinks he can live with mine and others I think I can live with his. Other days, not so much.
My Grandmother is very ill, and this required me to go home. What I realized while I was home was in a way eye opening. You see my family, is prone to drama and hype. And lately that's the way I have been responding to Fungi when I don't get my way or he does something to upset me. Seeing this in my mother and father's home made me realize this is not a way to live, and so for my part I will correct this behavior as much as I can.
Many moons ago, I went therapy and they told me I needed to leave my mother's home and break up with the crazy. These were things I knew to be true, but wasn't ready to hear. I have tried to apply the lessons I learned in therapy there, to real life and my current relationship. One night while speaking with my mother, I broke down to tell her we could possibly not renew our lease in October. She said she didn't know. Why didn't she know? She has a lot going on in her life. I want her to quit her job, because she's stressed and it's not giving her joy. Her mother is dying, but to be honest with you she can't deal with it. Her mother is 89 years old and has lived a full life. She doesn't recognize me, which saddens me but is not the worse thing in life. So I try to not mimic the things I know to be wrong in my own family.
The truth is no one is perfect. We all have flaws and the question at the end of the day is how bad are yours and can I live with them. The future is always going to be uncertain, but for now I hope that we can work it out. Not because we've been together for nearly 7 years, and we have two dogs, and we live together, but because I love him and I truly can't see my life without him.
comes with adulthood. I think every family is dysfunctional in some
way. Be forgiving. The loss of a parent is harder for some than others.
Be on guard against repeating family history. You sound very aware and
that is good.