Fungi and I have been dating now for a year and 7 months. Things have been overall GREAT. We have had our ups and downs here and there but at the end of the day we both love each other a lot and we share a great deal of love for our dog!

I have been getting into random arguments with my mother about my wedding. This is bizarre because I am NOT engaged, nor I am close to getting to the alter.

The first conversation went a little like this:

Mom: Mr. B will sing at your wedding.
Me: Why would he sing at my wedding?
Mom: Because he's my friend and he sings beautifully.
Me: I am not getting married here and I am not inviting him to my wedding, let alone having him sing at it.
Mom: He sings beautifully.
Me: I have no relationship with this man, he's not singing at my wedding, which by the way isn't happening.
Mom: Well just keep in mind that X Church is a good one to get married in.
Me: I am not getting married in a church, I am going to have a destination wedding.
Mom: I can't afford to go to your destination wedding.
Me: Well I guess I will see you when I get back.
Mom: I don't like it.
Me: I don't care. You aren't paying for it and I AM NOT ENGAGED. Why are we arguing about a wedding that isn't taking place?

Second Conversation:

Mom: You promised me you'd get married in a church.
Me: No, I definitely didn't. I have been talking about getting married on a beach since I lifeguarded at the State park.
Mom: You have to do it, it's really cheap.
Me: No, it's not MOM. You have to donate a minimum of $800 to the church. Do you know my best friend A is getting an annulment and they are paying the church $1000?
Mom: It costs more to undo a marriage then to do it.
Me: I have to go, do you know I am NOT ENGAGED?

This is what I am dealing with peeps. Happy Thursday.