A long-suffering wife was married to a man who awakened every morning with a monstrous fart.  Between the noise and the smell, the poor woman was miserable.
"Could you please stop with those rip-roaring farts every morning?" she begged.
But the man insisted that he just couldn't help it.
"Well, one of these days, you're going to blow your insides out if you don't start trying to control them more," she retorted.
A few weeks later Thanksgiving arrived, and the woman arose early to start the turkey cooking.  As she looking at the gizzard, liver, and neck, she suddenly had an idea.
Tiptoeing  into the bedroom where her husband was still asleep, she slipped the turkey innards into his shorts.
A short while later, the husband came into the kitchen with his shorts covered with blood and all the color drained from his face.
"Honey, you were right!"  he said.  When I farted this morning, I blew out my insides; but with the help of some vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of it back in.