In all the months(close to a year) that I was in NJ, I only went outside twice. To a small fenced area that was limited in its secure nature. I am sure there must have been escapes, although I don't know of them. I did escape one State Facility but you won't hear about that for some time.
The first time going out felt unreal, I had been inside for months. My world was small and and I was not ready for the sensory overload of the outside. The light seemed to penatrate my very core. Sound tickled my flesh with darkness I could not see. The cold threatened my bones.

It would be months before I went again, short staffing was the excuse they gave, and I found it equally unpleasant. They stole my love of the outside! How I wanted out, but not for minutes, I wanted to die and have a tree planted on top of me. Maybe death would allow me something to offer others...some shade, colorful leaves, and if I was lucky, maybe some fruit.
When I did finally leave it was to go to the State Hospital of my "home state".