M was supposed to go with her new "Granny" shopping today. She was so excited. They were going to wander around the mall, go out to lunch, whatever they wanted. M woke up this morning with ketones-not just a little but a lot. We stayed home from church and did all the things we were supposed to do. We finally decided about 11:30 we should change out her pump. When Granny called she still had ketones and I had to tell Granny she wouldn't be able to go.

M was standing beside me when I told her. She turned around and walked out of the room. I teared up when I got off the phone. It shouldn't be this hard for a little girl to spend time with someone. I found M in the computer room crying also. We talked about that "lousy" diabetes.

Granny called back in a few minutes and said she would wait and maybe M would get back to normal. By 2:00 ketones were gone and the shoppers were off.

You know though, I always figured when my parents told me when I was little that it hurt them to spank me more than it hurt me, they were lying. I think they were. I know when I spank M my hand hurts worse than her heiney but my feelings are usually just fine! But there are times when I have to say no or I have to watch her go through a hard time that I would do anything to take that moment or feeling away from her.

I don't think that ever gets any easier.