I don't want to spend my life looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with, and its killing me really bad, because I want to be that one happy person that I was two yrs ago when I my ex and I were still together, but the only thing is I don't want to take the time to look because the last 2 yrs I have been looking and looking for someone and I never found anyone I thought I found someone but they left and I also found out that person was nothing but a lier and that wouldn't work out for me, but the thing is why should I have to spend my life looking for somebody to spend the rest of my life with when I already know who I want that person to be, but the only thing is does he want to be with me that is the only thing, its just killing me because I don't know what to do or how I could show him or tell him how much I still care about him and want to be with him and all that good stuff, I think I have done a lot of things and he still haven't done or said anything I guess not unless I have to say something first, but who knows, I just wish I knew what to do!! and like I said in one of my other blogs he asked me about some guy that I was talking to and he asked me if that was my boyfriend and I told him no and that I had him and he told me no and asked me for how long and I told him for ever and he just said how about not or something like that I dont remember but it was something like that I know that much lol, and its like I will tell him that I love him here and there though text messages and he never says anything back to me and if I say something like that to him I would think he would get the point and that I still love him and that I want to be with him and the fact that I still have the ring and I never take that off and what not so he has got to know that I still love him and want to be with him, I just wish I could know what was going on in his head, so then it wouldnt be so hard on me so I wouldn't have to be hurting any more because in a way I'm hurting because I want to be with him so bad but he wont talk to me or anything about getting back together but then again I wont ask him either so I guess that could be a problem to though becuase I haven't asked him anything yet, so maybe I just need to step up and start asking him whats going on between us and what on and tell him how much he means to me and that I would do anything to be with him but then if I told him that then who knows what he would do, I guess the thing is does he still love me or does he just want to use me I wounder, I think he loves me but I could be wrong.. but what could I say, the reason why I think he still loves me is because he is always talking about what he has plan more me and what we could do with me life and what we can do together and what not if you know what i mean, and a lot of people do do that not unless they love each other in a way because in a way I couldnt see someones best friend do that kind of thing for them for some reason I dont know why I just could see that, I dont know what else I could talk about right now Im sure thers is more but whatever all I know it hurts and I just wish I knew what to do and how to make things work out,