I don't know what to do or think right now!!! the man I love more then anything is so messed up in a way right now it seems like for some reason i have no clue why i say that but thats just what it seems like and its killing me, then I guess there is some other chick that he has been talking to so I have no clue what is going on with that right now, he still talk to me like him and I are sill together type a thing whatever you want to call it but then again when I talk to him he always sounds so down in the dumps and I just dont understand why or what is wrong he wont tell me why or what is going on even though I ask him all the time and he knows how much I care about him to because I tell him all the time that I care about him, and then last night I asked him what we were going to do for my birthday and he told me he didnt know and he asked me what I wanted to do and I told him that he could be nice and take me out for my birthdy and show me a better birthday then my last one that I had because my last one sucked because I didnt do anything just sat around like I do any other time and I hate that and now that Im turning 18 I kinda want to have fun because now that I can go do my own thing and not have to have my parents with me at all times when I do something now but the only thing I cant do yet is go out to the bars but what is that going to do to me, I dont think that is going to hurt me one bit, because whats the point it to goint to the bars when a person has no money and there is really no reason to go out all the time, well any ways after i asked him or told him that he told me that we would have to see so then I asked him what he ment by that one and he told me that hes confused right now and I wonder if it has something to do with that other chick and I other then that I have no clue what it could be about and I just wish I knew what it was about because it is killing me, and its like he wants me to come over all the time but the only thing is I cant drive until may, and he knows that and then to top that off he doesnt want to be comming over here all the time to get me ya he will bring me home and stuff but if I want to go over ther or if he wants me to go over ther some times he wants to to fine a way over there and I cant always do that because I will have to pay that person back for gas money and I dont have the money to be doing that right now, it would be better if he would just come over here and see me and just stay the night or something like that if he wants to see me sin i cant drive yet if he doesnt want to drive back and forth who knows hes just and confuseing person sometimes but what can I say I love that man, ya I love that man.. we may fight a lot to but we havent done that for a long time now so that is good so who knows, well who knows I just wish he would get his head on stright and fig out what he wants I know I did and its him!!!!! well im sure I could keep going but I have got to get to bed... well maybe I will have more later.... so talk laterz...