I don't know what it is but ever sin he has been back and I have seen him and got to hang out with him I have been one happy person, yeah I may get to hang out with him everyday or what not but oh well he does have other friends and family that I'm sure he has to see yet and hang out with and all that good stuff if you know what I mean cause come on he has only been home for a week lol, I went over there the other night and stayed there and hung out there all day Monday sin we didn't have school we didn't do much but oh well it didn't really bother me just as long as I got to spend the day with him if you know what I mean, but what could I say, if you love someone you could really care less what you do just as long as you get to spend the time with the person you love if I'm right, and that same day I got to see his dad for the first time sin he has broke up with me and that kinda made my day because I miss his dad more then anything because his dad was like a father to me and I missed that so much after he broke up with me, well his dad talked to me for awhile after he broke up with me and then he stopped talking to me for some reason I'm not for sure why but that really killed me because I would alway talk to him more then my own father because he was more a father to me then my own father was at the time, but I was glad I got to see his dad but the only thing that got me was that he didn't ask me how I was doing but I'm sure dip told him everything on how I'm doing and that the Dr's going me on new med.s for me seizures and all that good stuff sin I do tell him everything when I talk to him lol, I was kinda hopping he was going to let me stay again that night but no he had to be a but and bring me home but I'm sure he didn't want to wake up in the morning and bring me to school like he had to last week lol but what can I say only if I could drive now it would be better but I can't thats the only thing that sucks right now other then that I'm sure I would be over there every night and maybe he would let me stay there every night yeah right lol who knows, but what would I know unless I asked him if I could move in or something crazy like that right, ya ya who knows, well any ways the other night on my myspace I put something on there that said " I still love him & nobody will ever stop me from loving him!!!" I think thats how I worded it lol and then today when I was going to cpat for school I looked at my phone I had a text from one of my friends and it said so your back in love with him? and I told her a part of me has alwaysed loved him, and then she sent me another one saying I know but are you getting back together with him than, and I just told her that I didn't know, and thats all I said to her and she didn't say any more after that, because I really don't know when we really havent talked about getting back together because who knows he could be waiting until my birthday before we get back together if we do get back together but what can I say, I know I tell him that I love him here and there and he never says it back to me who knows why but what could I say, I'm not going to push it on him saying that we have to get back together now and what not if you know what I mean, because I'm sure he is going to want some time to party with out me raped around him and what not if that sounds right, sin I'm not old enough to go out to the bars with him but why would I care if he went out I never cared before when we were dateing before, just as long as he wasn't being stupid when he was out but what can I say about that every body gets stupid when they go out ok wait I take that back not all the time some times they can get stupid when they go out lol, he may tell me he hates me all the time but the funny thing is he never means if because if he means it then why does he talk to me every day and why does he let me talk to him about anything and everything if it doesnt gross him out lol and If something is wrong it seems like he is the only person I can talk to for some reason I have no clue why its just that way its crazy but what can I say, and the other day my friend asked me if he was still calling me fat and what ever other names he calles me for some reason and I asked her why and she told me because it pisses me off when he does that and I dont like it when he does that because thats not nice and I dont care if he is just picking on you or not, and I just started to laugh and I told her if he has I have noticed becuase I have got used to him picking on me all the time I get use to it I dont notice what he calls me half the time, but I didn't tell her that much, I just told her that I have noticed, and that night I told him what she siad and he just stared to laugh because he didnt know what to say or something who knows with him lol, but what could I say I pick on him just as much as he picks on me so she has no room to talk or get pissed at him for picking on me, and thats just the way we show are love thats how I see it but what would she know because she never hung out with us when we were dating before so she wouldnt know how we treated each other before if I'm right, we treat each other the same as we did before and thats a good as of what I think haha, but who knows I could be wrong, but whatever what should it matter to her just as long as I'm happy and not down and depressed and wanting to do stupid stuff but I dont think that would happen any ways sin we found out what was wrong with me and why I was having so many seizures and what not, oh yeah something funny happen the other night when I was over at his place one of my friends called me or should I say the guy that worked for my dad and use to have a thing going on with him lol.. well he called me for once and I talked to him for a bit because he wanted to know how thing were going for me and what not and I told him that everything was going just fine, and when I got off the phone dip my lover boy lol asked me if that was my boyfriend and I told him fuck no are you crazy? and then I told him that I had him and he's like for how long? and I told him forever!! and he's like yeah ok or something like that lol I don't remember for sure what he said after I told him that I have him forever!! but what can I say thats what I want or I should say I hope things work out between us because I have no clue what I would do with out him, he may be a dick some times but I think all guys can be that way if I'm right, well who knows what else I can talk about tonight all I can do is just do my thing and talk to him everyday like I have been and dont mess up or try and push him away any type of way if you know what I mean, and that could happen with the things that I'm doing or the people I'm haing out with who knows what else it could be, it could be anything if you know what I mean but all I can do is just wait and see what happens and just hope that happy ending comes to me.. well thats all I have for tonight plus its getting late and I have school in the morning so laterz