I feel like writing a blog post, but have nothing of interest to say today... or so it feels. So here's just a random scramble of wandering thoughts to give a little insight as to where my mind is at at this moment in time...
I need to buy new pillows... and some more cheese. We ate what was left last night while watching Lethal Weapon 2. I love LW2, because they introduce Leo Getz. I know some people find him annoying with his constant, "Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay..." but I love him. He's so cute. I just want to give him a hug. I think he really got to me in Lethal Weapon 4, where he tells the story about Froggy - his only friend. Poor Leo Getz. 
Phone is ringing....
Dammit. My aunt just called. I ignored it. She calls allllll the time. (I've mentioned this before.) Cutting off all ties with her is much easier said than done, so instead I sent her a polite but firm email a few weeks ago about her frequent calling habits. I nicely explained that she calls 10 times more than anyone else I know - even my closest friends.  She didn't get defensive, which was good, but it still didn't change too much. Her response was, "Well, I hate email. So maybe we can find some common ground." Yeah, how about we start with you stop calling me every day! I've maxed my compromising limit. 
She called the other night and left a message asking me to email her with a good time to call. I told her Monday night. I have a couple other phone dates this week, and because I hate the phone, I like to spread them out. I don't want to be on the phone every single night. So what does she do? She calls today - on Friday morning. ARGH! The friggin' woman just doesn't get it!!! And no doubt there's gonna be a snotty message on the phone. That's the worst part.  
Okay, calm down Mel... breath. 
Checking for messages...
Wow! No message! Okay, maybe she's starting to get it? This must be her attempt to reach a middle ground. She still calls just as often, but won't leave bitchy messages as evidence that she called.  Okay, I can kinda live with that. It's those messages that really kill me. There's nothing quite like leaving a snotty message to encourage someone to call you back right away. :P
Okay, I'm calm again. Man, whenever her number shows up on the call display, I immediately tense up. Not a great way to start the day.
But I'm good now... and letting it go. 
That's something I've been trying to practice more this year. Just letting things go.
Like a lot of people, I occasionally catch myself dwelling on things that have happened or been said, or creating imaginary conversations of things that might be said the next time I see someone. And in a snap, I'll start feeling my heart begin to pound, and my face get all warm. I get upset. Like George and his "jerk store" comeback, I imagine what I should've said or what I'm gonna say next time.
But now, I've been making a conscious effort to catch myself.  My new little mantra, which I have to say has worked magic so far, is to remind myself, "The present is perfect." And it's true. 
So if I imagine telling my aunt off the next time we speak, or if I find myself getting upset with something someone has said to me earlier this week, I just stop and take note of the present. For instance, right now, I'm sitting all cozy on the couch beneath a blanket. We're done with the script (at least for another few days), so I have time to write in my blog. I've got my morning mug of hot chocolate and coffee. The weather looks sunny outside. I might go out later and buy some new pillows and cheese. Life is good. In all respects, the present is perfect.
What was said is in the past. And I know future conversations are never as horrible as I imagine them to be. I'm not going to give the past or future my present energy. 
And just like that, I feel good. 
Huh, it's interesting where a blog of random thoughts can take you...