I hate to state the obvious, but it’s June. June! Do you know what that means? It means that I have all of 5 days before what is probably the most anticipated event of my life - graduation is June 8.

To say that I am looking forward to graduation would be making a serious understatement - as if it is on the same level as the weekend or the newest flick or ice cream for dessert. No, graduation means the end of high school and marks the beginning of adulthood, so it is a huge deal. And, for me, the end of high school also means the beginning of college, which is also monumental.

Yes, I have excitedly anticipated graduation and adulthood for as long as I can remember. But now, things are actually happening. It has just hit me all of the sudden: I’m going to college! I’m going to be an adult! When did this happen? What did those twelve years of my education - of seeming toil and loneliness and endless homework - wind down to? At this point, I’m more interested in keeping my eyes on the road in front of me - all leading up to the fall term that starts September 2. On top of all that, college is not my final destination. Graduation is more of a beginning than an end. When I start to consider that, my mind starts churning out a whole new list, even more confused and spastic than the first.

It is so easy to feel overwhelmed by the whirlwind that life is at times of change and transition like these. It is so easy and natural to slip into that state where you deliriously go over all those lists and dream — and worry about what shape the future will take.

I know I can sound pretty anxious in my excitement and curiosity about what lies ahead for me. This post really is self-indulgent, because I have been trying hard to not drive people crazy with constant chatter about college and graduation and jobs and…yes…all that. Because really, who cares? Everyone has enough of their own life and stress to deal with to spend all their time listening about mine. And when it comes right down to the heart of the issue, I have enough life to live right now to not need to waste my time spinning fantasies about the future. I have real life — right now! — and, let me tell you, my “To-Do” list confirms that I have plenty of it.

At the same time, I am excited for whatever it is that the future is going to bring. I am scolding myself like an adult, since — honestly — these times and all the feelings that accompany them make me feel like a little kid again. Here I am again, chatting away with my friends about my hopes and dreams and plans. The truth is, my friends and I still talk about the same things, even if we have added some more serious or intellectual topics. I suspect that a big part of it is that we think we are more grown up. And we are — we are growing up. We are approaching adulthood, rapidly. It is simply that times like these make me feel like a silly little kid who doesn’t know any more about what’s best for him than the next kid does. For all my worry, I am still going to be a kid, only, with more schoolwork and responsibility. I’m just going to be a college kid, that’s all.

In the end, there’s not much I can do about my immaturity. I mean, I can worry about it all day, but it will not be until I am experiencing adulthood, grappling with my real future (not my fantasy of it) and have a better idea of what growing up means for me that I will actually be able to do it. For now, I have much to do, much to enjoy, and not much time to waste with worrying.