I went to visit my Buscia (grandmother) yesterday. Even though her house is about 25 minutes away from home, it’s been weeks since I’ve seen her, plus I didn’t have any plans. I told her the previous night I would be there around 1:00 p.m. Old Polish people like to have their main meal early in the day and call it supper.

I was early (as usual), parked, curbed my wheel towards the street (because it’s on a hill) and slowly walked up towards the house … the door was ajar, so I let myself in.

I took my shoes off as I saw my Jaja (grandfather) and said hello to him; he looks so much older and thinner these days.

My grandmother heard me and came bustling in to greet me with a smile on her face. She looked the same … but tired.

My mom was telling me that my grandfather tripped a couple of months ago when they went on vacation.

As he tripped part of his glasses cut his face, thankfully it wasn’t too bad. I learned that this weekend he tripped AGAIN when they went to church. Poor guy, he’s so clumsy at times.

Anyways, I walked into the kitchen where she was cooking dinner. It brought back memories when I was small and when she use to take care of me. The smell of toast and homemade jam … the pots sitting on the stove … and the Ice Cream she used to buy.

Since I was early, I told her to take her time as I went into the living room to watch television with my grandfather. He was watching a boxing tournament on cable. When he was a boy back in Poland he made money by boxing and he was good too!

We sat down for dinner. She made me eat even though my throat was still sore. She said, "You big boy, you eat!" when I tried to protest. I ate and boy was everything delicious! The meal started off with a cup of Czarnina soup. It took me years to try this soup again. Maybe it's because she made me try czarnina when I was little. For those who don't know, it's duck's blood soup. She knew I loved chocolate and tried to pass it off as chocolate soup. Her homemade mushroom soup was awesome as were her "Buscia" burgers with onion and bacon inside. Along with her famous burgers she served Stuffed cabbage, also known as Polish hand grenades for the way they clean out your innards. Has anyone ever tried Chzran? Homemade polish horseradish? Well, my buscia makes her own and it's a killer! You know how wasabi clears your sinuses?? She puts sugar and vinegar in it for added zip. A spoonful of that on a polish sausage (that's the GRAY kielbasa, not the red), dog, or brat is to die for. My favorite Polish dessert she makes by hand, are pastries filled with fruit jelly. The strawberry and apricot ones are incredible.

We were talking and they were asking if I had a girlfriend yet (which in my mind was funny because they don’t know I’m gay). If they ever knew, I don’t think our relationship would be the same. They’re "old country" 100% Polish, all four of my grandparents came over "on the boat." My grandparents are also ultra-conservative and I already know their opinion about the matter. I don't think they'd even understand. They think it’s strange and not normal at all.

Anyways, my grandmother was talking to me as I was helping her clean the table, she usually tells me three things. They’re usually:

1. Don't waste time foolishly.
2. Be good boy and go to church.
3. Be frugal with money.

She usually repeats them everytime I see her, so I politely nod ….. everytime, haha. I think she remembers telling me, guess it’s a grandmother thing.

Anyways after dinner I watched television with them, looked through some old photographs which I love to do, and just relaxed.

It was getting late so I decided to leave. Everytime I visit her, she usually cooks so much food that there's always left overs for me to take back home.

It took me 2 trips before I finally got everything in.

Enough to feed us for a week!

Yeah, the amount of food she had me bring back could have fed a village and the one next to it, haha. I texted my sister the next day and asked if she could take some of it before it spoiled.

My dad was saying how happy my grandmother was because I went to visit her. Which made me happy because that wasn’t my intended purpose; I just missed seeing her and wanted to visit.

I guess when you care about someone, you’ll do whatever you can to make them happy; even if it’s something small. Maybe by visiting and hanging out with them, maybe by chatting with them, or maybe by just asking how they’re doing.

It’s always the small thoughtful things people tend to remember. Someone I knew asked me why I’m so nice to my friends. Like spending the day with them on their birthday … helping them out even though they’re too afraid or too stubborn to ask … or just dropping a line and asking how they are.

I know most people probably think that my first thoughts are, “Is this going to make me look good?” or “I hope I get something in return”. I’ve never had those popup. The thoughts I usually have are, “I hope they like their present” or “Let’s pray he / she has a great time”, which then stresses me out. It’s always about them and whether they’re happy or not … that’s all I care about. I know people don’t understand that … but that’s how my personality is like.

I’m a giver, not a taker, lol.

As I get older … I’m realizing and filtering out friends and acquaintances. The people who are genuine, the people who make me feel great when I’m around them, the people who don’t take advantage of me, and the people who actually care and respect me. I unfortunately made a huge mistake in thinking someone was my friend, that no matter how nice I was … how genuine I was … it didn’t matter in the end because they never saw me that way. It’s a difficult process and we make mistakes here and there … but we’re only human and learn from it. We just have to make sure we don’t end up repeating it. But as a friend of mine said, “Friendship takes two”. And she’s absolutely right about that … even though I won’t say it to her face because her ego will probably grow larger, *smiles*.

BTW..I can’t believe it’s almost September … unbelievable …..