Ray and I were watching Mamma Mia! the other night. He is really a big fan of the movie. I almost broke down and got him tickets to see the play in Providence since it is hear for a few weeks. It probably would have been an interesting Christmas gift. He is not really big on doing the theater, though.

Anyway, the movie is all about a young bride who invites three men she things might be her father after reading her mother's diary. She is hoping to bond with her father so he can giver her away. She hasn't told her mom, which could become a real problem.

Toward the end of the film, it is time for everyone to go to the wedding, and it is time for someone to give her away. I won't go into any details because I don't want to spoil things for anyone who plans to see the movie or the play, but I did want to talk about the fact that it made me feel funky.

It just sort of got me thinking about how as time goes by, there is less and less of a chance that I will have a bride or groom of my own to see off into marital bliss. It was really a tough realization for me because kids have always been a big part of how I saw my future.

I know that I am still young. It is too early to give up on that dream when I am only 32, but the reality is that we really can't afford to do the adoption or surrogate thing. Foster kids are always an option, but in most cases the kids are really just passing through ... hopefully on to bigger and better things since they deserve the greater stability than the foster care system tends to provide.

On a bright note, Ray bought a ticket for a big mini-lottery they are having her in RI. If we win, maybe we could have a better chance at parenthood.