The one month date since Holly has been gone is rapidly approaching. I for one have definitely enjoyed the experiment and wonder exactly how much more painful I can make it for her. The problem is there is precious little I can do from here. I’ve read all of her blogs and rantings, whining about the unfairness of it all and I have to admit that I probably should have done this a lot sooner, before things had gotten as bad as they had. I know that there are an awful lot of you guys bitching and moaning about totally predictable subjects like “How could you do something like that to someone you love?” Love is the cancer that took control over my loyal little slave girl and metamorphosed her, day by day and little by little into a “girlfriend”. I hate to use such a dirty word but the fact of the matter remains that her feelings for me prevented her from doing what she had to do and my feelings for her were preventing me from doing what I needed to do to fix it.

The question comes up “Should she be in love with you at all and if she should not then why should she stay with you?” The answer for that is very simple. Yes, she should be in love with me but once that love gives her an unwarranted sense of self importance as far as how vital she is to my existence it becomes something counterproductive to what I am trying to do with my life and our lives together.

Sure, I am a monster and I need her around to keep me from totally losing that last shred of connectivity between myself and my species and she knew it. I had to make sure that Holly understands that I am more than willing to let that novelty go any time I choose and this has definitely been a time where I can finally feed my darkest and sickest impulses without fear of any kind of reproach at all.

So MyBloggers folks you can say whatever you like about what is going on but the facts of the situation when assessed properly will all let you know that the weakest part of the strongest body must become stronger or be amputated. What would any of you know about what Holly and I do? I’m not talking about you weekend play acting bdsm scene phonies either? The answer lies in the fact that whether you want to believe in your heart of hearts that I am not as bad as I portray myself to be. I am. I did what I did to Holly for Holly so that we can remain together. I don’t need to justify myself to any of you however, she reads my blog everyday.