Last time I went to church I sat in the front row. The preacher was saying something about salvation when suddenly he disappeared in a puff of flame and smoke. Lo and behold, in his place stood the devil, with eyes of fire and horns on his head!
"FEAR ME!" He shouted and all the parishioners fled en mass.
I was the only one left in the rows of pews.
The devil stared down at me.
"Aren't you afraid of me?"
"No," I said. "I was married to your sister for twenty years."

..........



PORK BURGER WITH BACON MARMALADE From Food Network)

Ingredients
4 slices bacon, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
1 teaspoon hot sauce, plus more to taste
1 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon red wine vinegar, plus more for drizzling
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
1 1/4 pounds ground pork
2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling
4 slices Swiss cheese
4 hamburger buns, split and toasted
1 romaine lettuce heart, thinly sliced
2 medium tomatoes (1 sliced, 1 chopped)
Directions
Make the bacon marmalade: Cook the bacon in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until almost crisp, 5 minutes. Pour out half of the drippings, add the onion to the skillet and cook, stirring, until the onion browns, 10 more minutes (add a splash of water if the onion sticks). Stir in the hot sauce, sugar, vinegar, and salt and pepper to taste.

Form the pork into four 4-inch-wide patties; season with salt and pepper. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat, then add the patties and cook 4 to 5 minutes per side, topping each with a slice of cheese about 3 minutes before they're done.

Spread the bacon marmalade on the bun bottoms and top each with some lettuce, a patty, a tomato slice and a bun top.

Drizzle the remaining lettuce and the chopped tomato with olive oil and vinegar, and season with salt and pepper; toss. Serve with the burgers.