And I Said I wouldnt Write Often. Well that Was A Big Fat Lie. But What Can I Say? I cant Resit.

It was A Sad Lonely Night. I was by myself. Studying.
When I awoken, it was a bright cheerful day. I was pleased.
I Came back from my shower and suddenly my eyes dart quickly to high up on the wall.

There on the wall, was a spider. A BIG FAT UGLY spider.

Now in the past I would of just ran out of my room, while having panic attacks and waited till my big man come and save me from the hairy insect. But no, not today I said I was going to be brave. (I had no choice otherwise, no big man to save me this time).

So I stood there hands on hips in the nude and was about to have a serious discussion with the spider. I looked up at him and said "Hey Heres the deal, I dont bother you, you dont bother me. Which means no crawling all over the walls, like some crack addict spider" Now I am not too sure if he did a little spider nod or not, but I assume the spider took the deal to heart.

And he did. All day he did not move.

But as the day wore on I grew suspicious of his motives. The spider could be waiting till I get comfortable and then he would make his move. So I watched him from afar.

It was midnight, I got a call and while on the phone I stared or more less glared at the spider. The spider must of felt my deathly gaze and he began to move. He moved towards the window which my bed happens to be next to. He remained high though, as if to rub it in my face.

That move to me was a confirmation of the deal being broken.

What did I do dear friends? I took the high road. I ignored the spider.

And I prepared to go to bed. I turned off the lights and laid in bed.

But I did not sleep. I Laid there tossing and turning, sweating and worrying.
What if the spider moved, I wouldnt be able to see him!!
What if he is on my bed now !!!
What if he is going to bite me !!!

The sweat, the worrying got to me. I was dehydrated beyond belief and frazzled from no sleep, for it was now one thirty am.

I Grabbed a water bottle from my desk and took a big GULP

It was not water in that. Oh no. It was Straight White Rum.
Oddly after that I was awake

No longer Could I stand the spider. Perhaps it was the Rum, the lack of sleep but I decided I was going to kill him.

I grabbed the biggest book I could Find and climb up on my wheely chair. For he was quite high up on the wall, and alas I am only so tall.

Now picture this if you will, Me on a wheely chair arse naked (again I know) With a big statistics book in hand, poised in some weird stance.

The book hovered before him, I was beginning to have heart palpitations. What if this spider jumped?

Oh yes there is jumping spiders. If you havent seen one, you have been lucky.

Now if the spider jumped, I would go flying off my chair, fall and twist several body parts, book land on my head and to top it off the spider would be crawling all over me. (As if he was a football player who got to the end line ).

This image did not reassure me any. I braced myself. Closed my eyes and slammed the book on the wall.

I Open my eyes and he was dead. It was a quick death.

Now I dont like to kill spiders, but he left me no option. Not a chance in hell was I going to grab a piece of paper and try to coax him onto it. That would mean he be even closer to me. Nooooo thank you. Thats dangerous stuff right there.

And that was my night.