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Sex, Sex, and More Sex
Sex, Sex, and More Sex
Yes Here it is, the steamy Oh yes Thats right I said S-t-e-a-m-y blog. Meow !
Well I have been noticing lately (maybe its due to the fact that Valentines Day is coming up) that there is more magazines and television shows about how to "Spice up your Love Life" Or "Please Your Man" or "New Positions You Have to Try". If you read (......wait you don't even need to read it)a Cosmo magazine you know perfectly well what I speak of. Sometimes the stuff in Cosmo makes me want to laugh! Let me explain further.
Breathing Together is Sexy!!! ....
Ever heard about the little bit in Cosmo where you can deeply connect and have better sack session if you timed your breathing to the same as your partner. WTF? What if my partner breathes slower than I? What if he breathes faster than me and cause me to hyperventilate by trying to match my breathing to his. How sexy is that ... hyperventilating ? I seriously doubt the guy will notice that you are breathing the same time as he is... or if he does notice he will probably think you are a creep.
Positions-Crouching Tiger Hidden Pain
Don't even get me started on these. First off I am horribly inflexible being. Second off I have very little to ZERO upper body strength ! So for some of those positions you need to be errr quite umm limber .. which I am not. No bending of my body into Pretzel just for one position for this girl. And some of the other moves out there (not just in Cosmo)require strength on the guys part, like holding the girl up against the wall (don't get me wrong a little rough and tumble is great). In the past that move hasn't turned out so well for me personally hahah .... Not that I weigh that much for my height (See First Article for Reference) But the guy I was with at the time couldn't hold me up. So either hes weak .. or I have to loose a few pounds bhahah. The end result was a a pile of bodies on the floor and a few bruises. Sexxxy !
400 Thread Count Equals 40 min Sex?
And finally my favorite recommendations for spicing up your love life or to entice new lovers into your bedroom. Pillows, apparently does make the difference between sex and no sex. Because you have to make your bedroom a "haven". A place for HIM to retreat to. So in order to make it a "haven" You must have every know size and shape of pillow known to god on your bed. Yes Ladies, men will surely appreciate having to toss 200 pillows off the bed before they can get you on it. (For Bonus points pillows have to be as frilly and even more senseless as possible).
Second thing is Paint. It seems that a bedroom has to be a certain color in order to get the man excited enough. Romantic colors, or Passionate colors are A MUST. spicy reds, warm browns, exotic golds, rich decant colors will only suffice.
Once the room is glowing with color you basically have to set your room on fire with candles. Best way to tell if you have enough candles is when you are close to the danger zone. This is the zone where you think your room or curtains could at any second become engulfed in flames due to the hundreds of candles you have lit.
Candles will set the mood and further make your bedroom a heaven.
And lastly we come to the sheets. The sheets have to be soft. Otherwise your lover will leave.
Softer the sheets = longer he will stay in bed. Now thread count doesn't really matter. You have to physically go to the store and feel the sheets for yourself. Personally I like the Jersey Cotton Sheets. Wash and Wear them out enough times they become like an old t-shirt.
posted on Feb 11, 2008 6:45 PM ()
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