What the Hell Starbucks?

I don't know if you noticed or not, but you are a pretentious and egotistical bastard of a coffee shop.

I Stroll in there with my prepared order before hand. A large coffee with two sugars and two creams.

And so I order such, for I was not sure if the (stupidly annoying skinny) overly perky lady at cash would want me slinging about Tim's sayings. (Starbucks might get offended by such talk of the "competitor") And I was afraid she would snort and spit a loggie in my coffee if I did say a " Double Double".

I ask for a coffee with two sugars and two creams.

She asks me if I want organic coffee, water steamed from the Himalaya mountains that wild monkeys probably pissed in, organic cream from free ranged cows, vanilla fat reduced soy milk, cane sugar from fair trade, no calorie sugar, arsenic, decaffeinated coffee (HA!) , cinnamon sprinkles, fairy dust, coffee grinded between arse cheeks.

I stare dimly for a few seconds after being overloaded with information from skinny perk a lot.

In my caffeine deprived state of mind I simply say " I want C-O-F-F-E-E Black"
And finally I got what I wanted. Simple Coffee.