Well, this morning was a rough one. I had told Grace last night before she went to bed that I thought something was wrong with Bobbie. So, of course, the first thing out of her mouth this morning was, "Mama, can you go get my camera so I can take a picture of Bobbie for my locket so I won't forget what she looks like if she dies." Yeah, tough start to a tough situation.
I called Grace over to me and told her that I needed to talk to her about something. I told her that Bobbie had died and she lost it, really lost it. Lost it to the point of moving away from me so I couldn't hold her while she cried lost it. Ugh.
The hardest part was when she, four-almost five-years old, screamed at me through her tears, "You should've told me they didn't live very long before you even bought a hamster for me, Mom!" That sucked, and it made me cry.
I told her that we could have a funeral for Bobbie, but she wanted no parts in that. I am thinking that maybe she might want it tomorrow. If not, I have to get the dead hamster out of my freezer. Yes, you read that correctly. Should you open my freezer you will see a Ritz cracker box. Inside that box is Bobbie's body, wrapped in dark pink tissue paper, awaiting burial.
Yuck.
Mom took Grace to the pet store today and came out with two dwarf hamsters. I told you that someone would try to manipulate her feelings, didn't I. But the dwarg hamsters are just different enough that I'm hoping it will alleviate some of the hurt. She did talk about Bobbie all day today, and it was a huge shock to her delicate little system. Grace. She is indeed just that.
As for me, I have vowed never to get so attached to another rodent as long as I live. And I'm trying real hard to not get sucked into the cuteness of the little dwarf hamsters. But I will get sucked in because that's who I am. I just wish that Grace didn't have to go through another lesson of loving and losing while she is so young. You know, Dreadlock, my best, most loyal, and most favorite dog, died two years and a month ago. And Grace remembers that, every detail of that. And it sucks for her.
Growing pains, eh.