A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
Mark Twain

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Mark Twain

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Mark Twain

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
Mark Twain

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain

A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Mark Twain

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
Mark Twain

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
Mark Twain

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Mark Twain

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain

All generalizations are false, including this one.
Mark Twain

All right, then, I'll go to hell.
Mark Twain

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Mark Twain

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Mark Twain

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
Mark Twain

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
Mark Twain

As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
Mark Twain

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain

Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.
Mark Twain

Better a broken promise than none at all.
Mark Twain

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
Mark Twain

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Mark Twain

Buy land, they're not making it anymore.
Mark Twain

By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
Mark Twain

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
Mark Twain

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Mark Twain

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
Mark Twain

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
Mark Twain

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
Mark Twain

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
Mark Twain

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
Mark Twain

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
Mark Twain

Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
Mark Twain

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Mark Twain

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Mark Twain

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain

George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
Mark Twain

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain

Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Mark Twain

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain

Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Mark Twain

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Mark Twain