It is one thing to want to comfort one's child when he is obviously hurting. As parents, we all just naturally do that. And when he is in pain over the loss of someone he loved, we quite naturally tend to attack the individual who caused that pain.

Deep down we mothers cannot imagine that anyone would ever reject OUR child. So, we make statements such as "I really didn't like her anyway." That's the obvious and natural thing to say. Most kids recognize that and don't pay any attention to it. I know I never did.

I will be perfectly honest. I do not particularly care for my son-in-law. I don't like his child-rearing techniques; I think he is far too hard on my grandchildren, and I don't like the fact that he is the sloppiest, messiest person I have ever known. I also think he is lazy. But my daughter loves him , so I keep my mouth shut--well as long as I can. I have spoken in defense of my grandchildren. If she can live with it, I guess I can.

As to my ex son-in-law, my ex-husband and I actually drove to California and brought our daughter back to Oklahoma because of his behavior. But not until we had irrefutable proof that he was a cheater and a liar.

The point I am making here is PROOF! Unless one has IRREFUTABLE proof, he had better NOT DO ANYTHING OR SAY ANYTHING. Making assumptions with no proof to back it up can do irreparable damage.

It has taken me a lifetime to finally figure out what a woman said about me that was a total malicious lie that caused such heartache for both her son and me that she could never atone in her lifetime even if she had tried. She made an ugly assumption that could not have been further from the truth and used it against me because I guess she thought it would make him feel a little better. All it did was throw him into total turmoil and put him in an impossible position.

I am by nature a forgiving person. I don't like to have bad feelings hanging between the people I care about and me. I'll put almost anything behind me to try to keep peace.

However, in this case, I am not sure I am capable of forgiveness. Even though the woman has since passed on, the rage I am feeling right now is beyond words.