Elfie asked how married life was going...it's taken me days to figure out how to answer that!

When I think back to when Chris and I got married I remember getting depressed after the wedding. Kind of strange since we had been living together for almost a year before that. It's been that way again. I don't know what it is or why it is....sure would help a lot if I did. Would make life a lot better for everyone!

J is a very different man from anyone I've been with before. That means some good things and some bad things. He's really good with M. (Though he'll sometimes admit that's because he's scared to tell her no.) He's dependable. He's totally trustworthy. All those character traits that you want your spouse to have-he possesses. I know that day in and day out I'm always going to be "safe" and that's really important to me.

Only thing-as Chris well knows, there's a part of me that likes being a risk taker. That's definitely not a part of J's life. Everything from driving slow to always paying bills early that's just who he is. Every now and then I get a wild hair and like to be wild. I know that isn't going to be a part of my life anymore.

I try not to compare the two men in my life. They are too vastly different to be comparable. I know Chris commented on that once too. The truth is that the things I really wanted in my life I have now. I think I'm just mourning some of the things that are gone too.