ok I have no clue how to put all of this stuff,
well lets see the last blog I had wote I was telling you this guy and I started dating as of what are friends were saying. Well the other day.. I should say the day before my birthday he finely opened up to my one of my best friend and told her everything and its like what..
and so when she told me that she need to talk to me about some stuff and I was like about what and she told me that he finely opened up to her and i was like oh.. so I was kinda freaking out the rest of the night at work trying to figure out what it could of been about, at one point and time i text her and asked her if it was good or bad and she told me if it was in my eyes it could of been bad i guess, so i just started going off on her in text
i was like what did i tell you guys from the start that we would never date!! and the way i see it as is that im just a fu**ing toy to him and thats all i see it as and thats that.. and she told me to stop talking about it and that she wanted to talk to me in person about it for some reason i was like fine whatever,
so when I was done with work I text her and asked her if she was going to come pick me up or if she wanted me to walk over there or what and she said that she would come pick me up so she could talk to me about all this stuff,
well this is what she all told me if I can remember it all, he told her that he would never date me because there are all these other girls that he wants to date I guess and its like what the hell, and he was telling her that hes knew all these other girls before he knew me and its like what does that matter, and he was telling her, dont get me wrong i do like her its just i will NEVER go out with her... and when she was telling me all this stuff its like if he likes all these other girls then why dont he ask one of them out and what not and stop treating me like we are dating
and why in the hell does he want to get a place with me so damn bad... and she was telling me thats why he wanted a 2bedroom place so we cld have our own bedroom and all this stuff, and she was also telling me that he said that my ex better not show up over there and its like why in the hell wld he plus he doesnt even know im getting a place of my own, and when she told me that, if thats the case then he better not have all his little girlfriends over there if i cant have whoever i want over there,
I'm not for sure if there was more to all of that on what she told me or not, if there is and I remember it I will have to add it some other time, I know later on that night I was talking to another one of my friends about all this stuff and telling her how he was sayin that my ex couldnt come over and i was just sayin why in the hell wld be but still and if thats the case then he shldnt be able to, but i was thinking if he can have who ever he wants over then I should be able to have who ever i want over, but we got talking about that, and she told me the way she sees it, is he dont want you to be anybody else but his and I was like thats bull shit, but yet he can have who ever he wants over and all that other shit he wants to do, and I can't do anything unless its with him type of thing... because he wants me to be his and only his but yet we are not dating.. and if thats the case why not just date,
but like i told a few of my friends from the start before him and I even got this close that we would never date.. and then they were all sayin that we were dating and he never told them no when they told him that we were dating and I was thinking after I found this stuff out the other night if he said he will never date me then why in the hell didnt he tell you guys that we are not dating then, I was like ya it feels like we are because we are always together anymore we text each other all the damn time we have been with each other eveyday for the last month to two months i would have to say and I dont think i have seen him going to hang out with all his other little girlfriends and what not and if he does it seems like hes telling me about it for some reason,
for some reason I though their was something going good between us but I guess I was wrong, im sure he was just using me, so we could get a place together and then hes going to fu** me over or something like that and if he does that I will be pissed... 
like i told my friend I dont know if this whole moving in thing is a good idea any more but i guess we can try and see how it works but whatever, and I also told her Im sure after we move in im sure I will never be home if not i bet you i will be locking myself in my room at all times, and thats that, and im sure he wont know what to think or say about all that shit... because we were so close and now after me finding out about all this stuff its not going to be so good... between us.. and im not for sure how hes going to like it..
then yesterday, i was going to go 4wheeling with my friends boyfriend and hes bestfriend while we waited for her to get off work and when i went to ther place the dip shit showed up.. at there place and told me that we sucked and i said why and he told me bc we are going 4wheeling and i asked him if he wanted to go with and he said sure but he had to go to his place first, i said fine, so we did that and then we went 4wheeling it was ok.. and what not and after that we went and got gas before we went to there place and we were talking and he was telling me that I have been a bitc* all day then he told me no I was just playing with you and its like really.. I was going to sayin if you really want to say that shit I can start to be one if you really want me to be.. bc I'm not going to take that crap, when i found out all that other crap just the night before my birthday.. its like no... isnt going to happen...
so after we got the gas we went to their place hung out there we i hung out in the kitchen while my friend was cleaning and i helped her clean while the guys were watching tv then after while i went in the living room when they started to make super and the dip showed me a helmet that he wanted and when i was standing over by him he grabed me and its like no, and when he had a hold of me i just wanted to punch him so fuc*ing bad n i mean it, but the only thing was i couldnt get my arm up bc he had my arm some how and its was pissing me off, well im sry to say he dont need to treat me like we are dating any more when he even said that he would never date me and all that other stupid crap..
yeah im sure i will never stop liken him but then again im sure i will but then again you never know, but whatever, the only reason why i say im sure i will never stop liken him is bc of the fact i felt like myself when i was around him for some reason but then again i didnt i have no clue why, i also felt like i wasnt right for him.. and i have been thinkin that ppl cld have been putting stuff in his head about me to thoug but i could be wrong about that to though but oh well i dont care any more... im sure im better off by myself for the rest of my life.. all i care..
im sure i could have more to write but as of right now i dont bc im tired and getting really pissy and upset because i just dont know what to think about all this stuff bc there was something about this guy that made me so happy and then now all this stuff happened so now i just dont know what to think... but whatever... I dont care.. now i just have to think of how wer are going to get a long when we movie in together and all that other crap..
then to top that off if i can start driving i will not drive him around like all thes other grils will, and just bc im living with him im not going to do it... and ther reason why i say that is bc we are not dating so why shld i have to drive him around all the damn time... he can call other ppl to do it if he really wants a ride or whatever.. i dont give a fuc* hes not my man... but whatever... ok im done... for now.. so later...