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Entertainment > Humor > The Pumpkin Patch
 

The Pumpkin Patch

The Pumpkin Patch

Washington Post article... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dracula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.

Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."

"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.

"I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there and then looked me straight in the face and said:

"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"

posted on Apr 8, 2008 8:44 AM ()

Comments:

comment by kristilyn3 on Apr 10, 2008 12:36 PM ()
*ROFL* At least he had a great line...
comment by elfie33 on Apr 10, 2008 10:19 AM ()
Reminds me of American Pie part 1
comment by itsjustme on Apr 10, 2008 2:21 AM ()
OMG! When I read this title, I thought, "And, they thought Christmas season started too soon."
comment by sunlight on Apr 9, 2008 1:12 AM ()
comment by angiedw on Apr 8, 2008 2:48 PM ()
That was great.
comment by fredo on Apr 8, 2008 10:10 AM ()
comment by elkhound on Apr 8, 2008 8:50 AM ()

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