I wonder who it was that first said, "Life's a bitch, then you die"? You have to be old enough to appreciate that comment (I don't know how old you have to be), but it seems to be true enough.

Ah! youth!!! Do you remember when you were indestructible and going to live forever? Live fast, die young and have a beautiful corpse? Well, I do, and in my young years felt exactly like that. I suppose everyone does. It is a phenomenon that is best observed with hindsight clarity. Then, the time comes when everything becomes clear - the hindsight syndrome.

One discomforting thing about growing old is that your awareness of your own mortality grows with your age - when distressing events begin to happen to those around you. I mean things like the death of a parent. It happens to everyone - usually twice. And if care-giving is involved, it can be especially devastating.

I remember that day ten years ago when I received a letter from my cousin which informed me that his older brother had died. That really shocked and hurt me. This man, four years my senior, and I were very close, since our teens, and in college together. He just died while reading a book on his couch, and was found there by his son.

Then sometimes one loses a long-time friend to disease or accident. That hurts, too. As we all eventually come to know, friends are hard to come by. To lose a friend is a serious thing.

A friend of mine and I worked together in Syria, Vietnam, Philippines, Thailand and Afghanistan. We went through a lot together. I have not heard from him in months, and a short time ago learned from his wife that he is suffering from Alzheimer's disease. I can still talk to him on the telephone, but he cannot handle e-mail I suppose because he just doesn't know who the sender is. That hurts!

So you just grit your teeth and bear it, I guess. And keep on keeping on.

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