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Life & Events > A New Year's Day Dawn

A New Year's Day Dawn

Sky at dawn, New Year's Day, 2012, Toledo, Ohio

A New Year's Day dawn

Day by day, a year comes and goes. Each new day is the beginning of the rest of our lives. We take with us what we have learned. We are the same and not the same.

No doubt about it, 2011 was a hard year....
--- My dear, sweet, amazing, brave, precious sister-in-law battles stage four ovarian cancer. The tense battle goes on, and hand in hand, we all walk a tightrope with her and my dear brother, from one month of tests and scans and treatments to the next. Her doctors are extraordinary, and I am so grateful she has access to such medical care.
--- In April, my youngest step-brother committed suicide out of the blue, so lost in a hidden black depression that he could not reach out for help, or felt undeserving of help, choosing instead a gun and a bullet. My shell-shocked step-family is in emotional shambles, and his first grandchild was born a couple months ago, never to know him.
--- In June, My ex-husband, Jim, a severe alcoholic, who managed at long last eight months of hard-won sobriety before relapsing, had a stroke and was found dead in his apartment after his newspapers piled up for days. I consider that another suicide.
--- Jim's funeral did bring the blessing of a reunion with his dear family, whom I've know all my life and with whom I was very close during Jim's and my 27 years together.
--- Other good things: Surgery repaired successfully the torn meniscus in my right knee, and thanks to my new endocrinologist, a new medical/vitamin/holistic approach has really helped positively manage my chronic illnesses, so I feel much better.

But all in all, I bid the sadnesses of 2011 a welcome farewell. So glad it has no more curve balls to throw.

As long as we are alive, we will continue to wrestle with questions, seek answers, solve problems and deal with the unexpected. On this journey, let's be gentle with ourselves and others, choosing to respond with non-judging love and acceptance instead of unrealistic demands of perfection.

Each day brings us new opportunities to express our development — more patience, the ability to empathize, the acceptance of a disappointment. Today is another day to learn how to be serene, to nurture body and spirit so that we may function as an integrated soul.

My goals for the New Year are not at the year-long mark, but one day at a time. May each single day in each New Year be freshened by a new-found hope.

Happy New Day.

posted on Jan 2, 2012 6:53 AM ()


Oh Marta, I rejoice in your improved health and am so sorry for your losses.
I have a good friend who totally recovered from ovarian cancer. She went to
M.D. Anderson cancer center in Houston and they stressed nutrition. They
told her to drink carrot juice until she turned yellow. that was 25 years
ago and they have made big strides since then.
comment by elderjane on Jan 4, 2012 5:32 AM ()
Thank you, Jeri! Ovarian cancer is curable is caught in its early stages. At stage four, which is advanced involving other metastasis (brain, bones, abdomen) things are very much more difficult. Sylvia is on a strong supplement program, too, and is holding her own so far. Things are stable. I wish ovarian cancer research was farther along.
reply by marta on Jan 5, 2012 5:21 PM ()
Marty, you give such encouragement to the rest of us. It saddens me that you have borne these burdens alone. We cannot change anything; but we are always here for you.
comment by redimpala on Jan 3, 2012 11:26 AM ()
I am so grateful to my caring friends, real and digital!
Thank you, Joan!
reply by marta on Jan 4, 2012 8:35 AM ()
Your message spoke to me. That's all I'll say. Thanks. I needed that.
comment by solitaire on Jan 3, 2012 6:00 AM ()
reply by marta on Jan 3, 2012 6:17 AM ()
Goodness, but you have been through a time. I feel guilty because here we all were going on about whatever, and you were slogging through all this. I'm sure you knew we were all here for you, and still are.
comment by troutbend on Jan 2, 2012 6:43 PM ()
Laura, thank you for such a sweet comment. The odd thing is, here I am a professional writer/editor, and I could not find the words to write about this. I think the dawn of the new year gave me just a jolt of distance, enough to sum it up for a bit of closure. Onward....
reply by marta on Jan 2, 2012 7:16 PM ()
I'm saddened to hear of your losses. I hope 2012 will be a year of healing and renewed hope.
comment by tealstar on Jan 2, 2012 7:09 AM ()
Hope blooms! Thank you for your friendship, dear T. My mybloggers friends are such dears.
reply by marta on Jan 2, 2012 10:42 AM ()
I am saddened by your year's story, but you have the courage that is rare. Let 2012 be much much better for you.
comment by jondude on Jan 2, 2012 7:03 AM ()
I am blessed with a resilient spirit, hope and positivity, Jon, and carry that into each new day.
reply by marta on Jan 2, 2012 10:40 AM ()

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