R.I.'s dueling same-sex marriage bills elicit personal stories
02:52 PM EST on Friday, February 27, 2009
By Katherine Gregg
Journal State House Bureau


Those at the hearing last night included John and Nancy Green, right, of Providence, supporting same-sex marriage, and Pedro Rojas, of Providence, and Dr. Ralph Miech, of Riverside, who are opposed.
The Providence Journal / Connie Grosch

PROVIDENCE -- While many others talked for and against same-sex marriage at the State House last night, Mark S. Goldberg put a human face on what it sometimes can mean to be a married man without the rights of marriage in his home state.

In a pained voice in a packed hearing room, he talked about his months-long battle last fall to convince state authorities to release to him the body of his partner of 17 years, Ron Hanby, so he could grant his wish for cremation -- only to have that request rejected too because "we were not legally married or blood relatives."

After struggling for years with depression, he said, Hamby took his own life.

Goldberg said he tried to show the police and the state medical examiner's office "our wills, living wills, power of attorney and marriage certificate" from Connecticut, but "no one was willing to see these documents." He said he was told the medical examiner's office was required to conduct a two-week search for next of kin, but the medical examiner's office waited a full week before placing the required ad in a newspaper. And then when no one responded, he said, they "waited another week" to notify another state agency of an unclaimed body.

After four weeks, he said, a Department of Human Services employee finally "took pity on me and my plight -- reviewed our documentation and was able to get all parties concerned to release Ron's body to me," but then the cremation society refused to cremate Ron's body.

"On the same day, I contacted the Massachusetts Cremation Society and they were more than willing to work with me and cremate Ron's body," and so, "on Nov. 6, 2008, I was able to finally pick up Ron's remains and put this tragedy to rest."

"I felt as if I was treated not as a second-class citizen, but as a non-citizen," Goldberg told the Senate Judiciary Committee, an hour into the first hearing this year on the 13-year push by gay-rights advocates for the right to marry in Rhode Island, and the pushback from the Roman Catholic Church and other opponents.

In the words of Kathy Kushnir, executive director of the local branch of Marriage Equality: "Rhode Island has become an island of inequality." Same-sex marriage is legal in Massachusetts and Connecticut, while Vermont, New Jersey and New Hampshire allow civil unions and Maine has had a domestic-partnership law since 2004 that extends certain legal rights, such as inheritance rights, to heterosexual and gay couples who live together under long-term arrangements.

The Senate committee had before it dueling bills to allow and prohibit same-sex marriages here as well. Scores of advocates spilled out into the State House hallway, and gathered around TV monitors set up in both the Bell Room and Senate gallery so they could watch the televised hearing. One group wore stickers that said "Marriage =1 Man + 1 Woman," while the other had stickers that said: "Open your hearts to equality."

On Wednesday, Rep. Arthur Handy introduced a matching bill to allow same-sex marriage in the House that had been signed by 30 of 75 House members. Handy, D-Cranston, said he was aiming for 30 because it would demonstrate how much, he believes, support has grown within the sometimes tradition-bound General Assembly.

Both Handy's bill and the Senate version contain a section titled -- "protection of freedom of religion in marriage" -- that says "each religious institution has exclusive control over its own religious doctrine, policy, and teachings regarding who may marry within their faith, and on what terms" and "no court or other state or local governmental body, entity, agency or commission shall compel, prevent, or interfere in any way with any religious institution's decisions about marriage eligibility within that particular faith's tradition."

The bills also specify that no member of the clergy of any religion shall be "obligated or otherwise required by law to officiate at any particular civil marriage or religious rite of marriage."

Nonetheless, there have been warring radio ads in recent days by "Marriage Equality Rhode Island" and an opposition group, calling itself, the "National Organization for Marriage Rhode Island," whose board of advisers includes the Most Rev. Thomas J. Tobin, Bishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Providence.

Sen. Leo Blais, the Coventry Republican who introduced the bill to ban same-sex marriage, read aloud a portion of the written testimony submitted by Bishop Tobin.

"Contrary to the assertion of others, this is not an issue about civil rights," he wrote. "Freedom is not unbridled license. … In short, there's never a right to do something wrong … The fact that two adults consent to an action doesn't make it morally right or socially acceptable. After all, two consenting adults can engage in drug use, prostitution, bigamy, polygamy or other immoral activities."

In the letter he submitted to the committee, Bishop Tobin went a step further. He said "hatred, persecution, prejudice and ridicule of homosexuals is a grave sin … But we also believe that homosexual activity is immoral and contrary to natural law, the tenets of the Bible and the teaching of the Church."

In his own turn at the microphone soon after, the Rev. Bernard Healey, chief lobbyist for the Diocese disputed the notion that same-sex marriage is needed for the "protection of social benefits. Such a view reduces marriage to a mere bundle of state benefits and loses sight of the deeper meaning of marriage."

"Many of these benefits can be provided for and obtained for persons, whether homosexual or otherwise, without the need of being in a ‘marriage' and/or state sanction [ed] ‘civil union', " he argued.

Lawyers, the former medical director of Hasbro Childrens' Hospital, Pawtucket City Solicitor Margaret "Peg" Lynch-Gadaleta who is the sister of Attorney General Patrick C. Lynch, and state Rep. Frank Ferri, D-Warwick, were among those lining up on the other side.

With his own partner of 28 years and husband, Tony Caparco, at his side, Ferri told his fellow lawmakers: "Many of you think that supporting marriage equality would be detrimental to your elections. I pose this question to you: how is it that I was elected? I believe that the majority of Rhode Islanders are of the mind … live and let live. As their priorities, they are worried about the economy, education, health care and the environment."

By the numbers
•49: Percentage of Rhode Island voters who support same-sex marriage *
•37: Percentage of Rhode Island voters who oppose same-sex marriage*
•30: States that bar recognition of same-sex marriage
•12: Years since first same-sex marriage bill introduced in the General Assembly
•8: States that allow civil unions
•2: States that allow same-sex marriage

*Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research Poll in July, commissioned by Marriage Equality Rhode Island