An older Lady gets pulled over for speeding--
Woman; Is there a problem officer?
Officer; Mam, you were speeding.
Woman; Oh, I see.
Officer; Can I see your license please?
Woman; I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer; Don't have one?
Woman; Lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer; I see--Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?
Woman; I can't do that.
Officer; Why not?
Woman; I stole this car.
Officer; Stole it?
Woman; Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer; You what?
Woman; His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for backup. Within minutes 5 police cars circle her car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car with his gun half drawn.
Officer 2; Mam, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman; Is there a problem here Sir?
Officer2; One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman; Murdered the owner?
Officer 2; Yes, could you open the trunk of your car, Please?
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2; Is this your car, mam?
Women; Yes, here are the registeration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2; One of my officers claims that you do not have a drivers license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2; Thank you mam, one of my officers told me that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman; Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!

Don't mess with old ladies.