Facebook made me cry this morning at work. I hate crying at work. I sit at the front desk, so it is not like I can exactly hide from everyone. One colleague caught me which made me cry more.

I have severely limited Mike's access to my Facebook page. When I logged on this morning, I noticed that several of Mike's friends posted new Mackinac pictures. The pictures were upsetting enough. The picture of him and the German girl really upset me. Mike was tagged in some of them, but I couldn't access his page. He has dropped me as a friend which broke my heart.

I have been feeling strong and independent, but the last few days have been very hard on me. I have been feeling very lonely. At the same time, I really miss him. I know that we broke up for a reason and that in the end I will be better off without him. That doesn't help me right now though, I still check my phone hoping that he'll text me. I jump every time I get a text hoping that it will be him. Then today the thought that he closed me was just more than I could handle. I'm hoping for some contact, and he's closing any contact. It could mean that he doesn't need the reminder that I exist and maybe he misses me. However, rather than tell me that he misses me....he dropped me as a friend. Today, I'm sad.

I realized that I've been using Facebook to keep track of him through his sailing friends. I haven't found anything interesting out, but I still check every day. I went ahead and closed out all of his sailing friends. I guess we won't be communicating over Facebook. I need to stop thinking about him and checking on him everyday. This is not healthy behavior.