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Just Me Again

Life & Events > Murder at Woolies
 

Murder at Woolies


Been away again ---life can be good when you retire i'm not into the next bit , notice it says young husband



Murder at woolies

Tired of constantly
being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided
to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife
with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend'
put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the
name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for
snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any
cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie
insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened
his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the
dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart
store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded
to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman
drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce
department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to
leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to
strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security
cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately
called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave
the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan,
including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband
who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...













'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Wollies!'

posted on Sept 23, 2010 3:10 AM ()

Comments:

Funny Kev.
comment by elderjane on Oct 1, 2010 6:35 AM ()
i check a motor home forum every morning , the jokes always start my day -=--and they are not always in the joke section either
comment by kevinhere on Sept 23, 2010 5:56 PM ()
You caught my attention with the title words 'murder' and especially 'woolies' and that joke didn't disappoint.
comment by nittineedles on Sept 23, 2010 9:53 AM ()
it got me in as well
reply by kevinhere on Sept 23, 2010 5:53 PM ()
comment by kristilyn3 on Sept 23, 2010 9:33 AM ()
gonna find a toungue joke for you
reply by kevinhere on Sept 23, 2010 5:54 PM ()
comment by jondude on Sept 23, 2010 5:25 AM ()
i check a motor home forum every morning , the jokes always start my day -=--and they are not always in the joke section either
reply by kevinhere on Sept 23, 2010 5:57 PM ()

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