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I've been thinking about this post since yesterday, and now that I'm home for the evening and have time to compose it, I've decided to go for it. If you think you know which "left one" I'm talking about, you are probably correct. I'm not talking legs or eyeballs (although that's getting close). I figure that I would have had an easier time with the situation if I had previously read the post I'm about to write, so with the hope that it might benefit even one person, here are a few details (but no pics).
When I was in the hospital last month and had a Foley catheter installed (or should that be inserted?) for the first time, the sensations were so strange that I couldn't resist feeling around to be sure that everything was dry and in order. Maybe because I was too warm under the blankets and too out of it to remove them, or maybe for some other reason, but I noticed that everything in the lower neighborhood was very large. As I checked the left one, I noticed that the bottom portion wasn't the same texture as the other one. Can't really say it was a lump, like a marble, but it wasn't smooth like it should be.
Naturally, being a guy, and this is at the heart of the post, I didn't say anything to anybody. I came home and got cranky and left poor Donna to wonder why until two days before my scheduled routine appointment with the doc last week. Donna came into the exam room with me to discuss blood pressure and to have the readings from her cuff (which were too high to be accurate) compared to the numbers that the doc got (my PB really isn't too high).
Anyway, if she hadn't been there I may have let the issue with the jewels go by. But near the end of the exam, I mentioned to the doc the results of my inspection. When he went for a rubber glove a few minutes later, I knew what was coming. Seems like medical professionals aren't as concerned about privacy as they were years ago. The doc was sitting right next to Donna, but I walked up and dropped'em and he proceeded to inspect.
First thing he said was that I'm way past the age for testicular cancer. Something about a young man's disease (dirtbag). Ok, so that was a relief. Then he said that a hard mass would be of more concern than what I had. He wrote up a script for an ultrasound and I had that done on Monday.
Used to be that if you were having a procedure like that, they'd send you to a cubical to undress and put on something more accessible. Nope, not any more. Mike, the ultrasound guy invited me into his room and said, "I'll get a sheet for you to lay on". "Okie doke", I thought. Then he says, "drop your pants and get comfortable". Hmm.. Ok, so that wasn't so bad. Then he wrapped a few towels around the works and started the test. It didn't take very long at all, maybe 10 minutes, twelve at tops. "You can use the towels to clean up", he says. And I was outa there.
The doc himself called yesterday, and Donna answered the phone. I'm thinking, "this isn't so good if the doc himself calls the day after the test". But it turns out that it's nothing serious. Probably the results of past trauma, and I probably had it for a lot longer than I know--maybe back as far as the vasectomy eight or ten years ago (that's about the only trauma I can remember).
So, I've done colonoscopy posts, telling interested parties that it's really no big deal, and it isn't. And neither is an ultrasound of the works. I should probably thank my sweetie for being in the room, since I really believe I would have kept my mouth shut if she wasn't there, just as I did with the docs in the hospital. So, if you think you need something looked into; do it! It probably won't be as bad as you expect. And in the case where something serious is found, it's better to know early!
