Ohhhh! They are shrewd, these advertizing people! They can’t lie in their ads, especially in national TV ads.  If they do, every state Attorney General in the country would be slapping lawsuits down on them. 

However, these fine, Madison Avenue men and women are so well-schooled in sleight of hand and voice that they could put David Copperfield to shame.

When listening, watching or reading  ads, the consumer should take nothing at face value. NOTHING!!!! Sometimes what you think you hear or see and what was actually said, written or shown are two very different things! When confronted by “Mr. Opportunity” or a sexy young thing in a tight business suit trying to separate us from our money, it would serve us well to remember two sentences, “Let the buyer beware!” and “There’s sucker born every minute!”

Case in point:

 I was watching N.C.I.S. last night (I’m in love with Abby!!!), and a new ad came on for the Subaru Outback, which is a “cross-over vehicle”. (Anybody actually know what the hell a “cross-over” vehicle is?  I’m not sure, but I think it has something to do with sex change operations.)

The very pretty but professionally dressed young pitchwoman in the ad said that you could own this incredibly sexy, cross-dressing vehicle for only, and I quote, “twenty thousand, three, two ninety-five.”

Now, if you didn’t know any better, you’d initially think that the price tag for this Subaru was a little over $20,000, right? Think again, because you’d be $3000 off!

What is “twenty thousand, three, two ninety-five? Is it $20,295? No. You’re missing a “3”. Is it $20,395? No. You’re missing the “2”? There’s an extra digit in there somewhere.

Again, she said, with her pert and alluring smile, “twenty thousand, three, two ninety-five.”  Write that out – it comes out to 2 – 3 – 2 – 9 – 5, or $23,295.  If the woman was speaking normal English, she would have said, “twenty-three thousand, two ninety-five,” but she was speaking “AdSpeak”.

Now, most languages in the world are tools for communication.  AdSpeak is insidious because, while it masquerades as a communication tool, it is actually a tool used to confuse the listener.

SOOOOOoooooOOOOOO, pay attention!!!!!