It’s a loud world out there. It’s full of buzzes, swishes, whines and crinkles that I have either never heard before, or, at least, I haven’t heard in a very, very long time.

Along with this revelation, I am becoming aware of how loud people talk, at least when they are talking to me. (For some reason or other, they seem to speak softer when speaking to others, but, when talking to me, they raise their voices.)

What is the reason for these new discoveries in the world of decibels? Well, I think it may have something to do with my attire. You see, just recently, I decided to make a new fashion statement, and I have begun wearing a hearing aid.

Chic, sleek, and everyone who is anyone is wearing them these days! Kind of like pre-ripped, designer jeans, you know?

Wanna make a statement and HEAR it at the same time? Try the new Starkey “T” model hearing enhancement apparatus. It’s an electric, daring, tiny thing that allows you to show LOTS of skin.  It comes with a designer price tag, around $2,200, and it is definitely NOT one size fits all. (Yup! It expensive. That’s why it’s called an apparatus, I guess. It’s hard to spend that much money on a simple hearing aid, but a hearing enhancement APPARATUS?????? Makes you wonder where you’re going to park it at night. Know what I mean?)

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It was about two months ago that I had my hearing tested and found out something that I have actually known for years – my right ear has a substantial hearing loss. 60%, to be exact.

I can hear low, base sounds as well as anybody else on the planet, but, the higher the pitch, the less of it I hear.  Like women’s or children’s voices. Like the soprano notes in a choir. A good portion of those sounds were lost on me in the past.

Also, when I’m in a noisy place, like a restaurant or a party, I have a hard time understanding words.  It’s not that I don’t hear them. I do. In fact, I hear them very well. It’s just that I can’t distinguish the words from background noise.  Everything just seems to tumble together into one, unintelligible, muffled roar. (You could be sitting directly across the table from me in a noisy restaurant, and when you spoke to me, I could hear sound, but couldn’t make out one syllable of what you were saying.)

At first, I balked at the idea of wearing a hear aid. It was offensive to me simply because it didn’t fit in at all with my self-image. Hearing aids were for old men. I wasn’t there yet. (Most Americans, men and women, think of themselves as being twenty years younger than their actual age.  This only changes when you try to do something physical and your muscles, bones and tendons remind you rather forcefully that you are no longer the spring chicken you were two or three decades ago!)

The reluctance to admit I needed a hearing aid  was more than just a vanity thing. It really was. Wearing a hearing aid was one gigantic step towards admitting that I was MUCH OLDER than I feel that I am.

People tried to cheer me up by saying things like, “You’ll appear so much younger if you don’t constantly have to say, ‘Huh?’” and “Think of how much more you’ll be able to hear!”

Although they were all well-meaning with their comments, they really just didn’t understand. I truly wanted to hear better, and I really didn’t care what the damned thing looked like. What really bugged me was the fact that I needed a freaking hearing aid!

However, from the first minute that the audiologist stuck the thing in my ear, all misgivings about the device were gone. It was like somebody unplugged my right ear after years of having a finger jammed in there. Suddenly, there were buzzes and rattles and other things that I had never heard before…and they were all crystal-clear and sharp sounds!

I also found that I could hear myself better. I discovered that, before the hearing device, my normal speaking voice was almost a shout.

I began turning down my radio and my TV. 

I could actually hear conversations in crowded rooms!

This tiny, little device has really made a HUGE difference in my quality of life, and now, rather than hide it from folks, I am constantly digging it out of my ear and showing it to folks!