>> The Philosophy of Ambiguity
>>
>> FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE
>> IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:
>>
>> Please enjoy and understand the following -
>>
>>
>> 1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
>>
>> 2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.
>>
>> 3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
>>
>> 4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS
>> AND APES?
>>
>> 5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE
>> ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
>>
>> 6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-
>> HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
>>
>> 7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
>>
>> 8. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS
>> WITH SOAP?
>>
>> 9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF,
>> IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
>>
>> 10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
>>
>> 11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
>>
>> 12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN
>> ENDANGERED PLANT?
>>
>> 13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
>>
>> 14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
>>
>> 15. WHY DO THEY LOCK PETROL STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID
>> SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
>>
>> 16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
>>
>> 17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
>>
>> 18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO
>> REMAIN SILENT?
>>
>> 19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
>>
>> 20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD
>> SIGNS?
>>
>> 21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
>>
>> 22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
>>
>> 23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
>>
>> 24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
>>
>> 25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
>>
>> 26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
>>
>> 27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
>>
>> 28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
>>
>> 29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
>>
>> 30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
>>
>> 31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
>>
>> 32. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
>>
>>