As the day forged on the more I became aware of my size.Hey yes I'm aware i'm oh 40-50 overweight.Yet somedays I just go on and never think of it.Today I have tried to turn my attention elsewhere.Well I had to do shopping today and people really just are heartless to say the least.If your looking at clothes you get stares like she could wear that!If your looking for groceries people really look at you.I got so discouraged today I had to leave super walmart.It just reminded me why I go to the store at 1-2-3am.No one is there.I guess its on my mind heavy because lets face it its damn Hot in mississippi.I used to love to swim theres no way.So in the back of my mind i'm worried about that.Most of all I think what has really bothered me is the sex.I don't want to have it.Oh and I want to.Its time to make up for the 2yr void.But i just can't.I mean i have but i feel so awful.I want to hurry up and get it over with.darn it.I have no one to talk to about this.Who knows if others have felt this way and felt alone.Dieting is hard but i'm going it.Slowly but hopefully for sure.At the clinic they said you've lost 3-4 I said WOW.Thats nothing.Feels like i'm at a dead end...???Well heres to trying to have a normal tomorrow.I hate having FAT dayz.......