Missing Your Television?
"President Bush is now in Japan for the big G-8 summit, which
is going on right now. The G-8 Summit is where the world's top economies get
together. The bad news: we are no longer one of them. I wouldn't say the U.S. economy is doing bad, but you know how Bush
got to Japan?
Southwest."
---Jay Leno
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"On Fox News, Jesse Jackson was caught saying he wants to cut Barack
Obama’s nuts off. This marks the nicest thing ever said about Barack Obama on
Fox News."
---Conan O'Brien
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"In a 5-4 vote, the Supreme Court overturned Washington, DC's
ban on handguns! Finally, the residents of Washington, DC
have the right to defend themselves---from each other, one assumes. Writing for
the majority, Justice Antonin Scalia said, 'It is not the role of this court to
pronounce the Second Amendment extinct.' He is right. Killing the Constitution
is the president's job. The court's job is to overturn elections."
---Stephen Colbert
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"Well, you know, Barack Obama, he's started a fashion craze in Italy. Italian
designers have taken his look, and they're turning it into fashion. It's an
amazing thing. But don't sell John McCain short. He's also influencing fashion.
He has popularized the 'something on your chin' look."
---David Letterman
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And the headline of the week: Bush addresses the Italian
prime minister in Spanish: "Amigo! Amigo!"