This last week, I'm really realizing how bad my depression has gotten. I've deceived myself in to believing it wasn't that bad because I hadn't felt suicidal. Back in the 1990's when it was really bad, I was always suicidal, but that is not the case this time. But, I took stock of my life and yes, I'm in big trouble here. I won't go in to details, but I have fought depression enough years to know when things aren't good. Now, I just need to work on getting my feet out of the cement and start getting my life back.

Communication with Jim is going pretty good. Right now, I am the one that is holding back and not talking. I hate to admit to him just how bad things are with me because he gives me speeches about what I need to do and I already know all of those things and just don't want to hear them from him or anyone else. I just need to do what I already know would be healthy for me.

Okay... enough about that!

Changing the subject - I think I have a cougar hanging out around on the hill behind the house. Last night, Annie Dog really became boisterous and growling while looking up the hill. I could hardly get her back in the house and then she paced and growled for about 20 minutes before settling down. This morning when I let her out, I noticed that a lot of birds where squawking big time. They were making some weird noises which I haven't heard before. They seemed to move away from the house, heading South. I think they were following what ever was out there. I've noticed the birds on several mornings making a fuss. All I can say is that I'm not going out and about the ranch without a gun and I'll be looking behind me a lot. Kind of scarey. :o(

Well, on with another day. Sorry, I haven't been replying to any of your comments. I have read them, just don't feel like commenting right now. I still appreciate hearing from all of you.

Love - Annie :o)