water can kill.
luckily, it didn't kill me.
or anyone else.
flakes, everywhere driving down,
look so benign.
driving I-89 south.
I saw 4,5 cars that had taken a ditch,
I wasn't worried.
I had fish0tailed twice
but righted the car
and continued on a 20-25 mph pace.

then sleet, frozen rain.
i was driving in a pair of bare tracks
but ever so slightly nudged the wheel, and hit ice, jumped the track,
slalomed and swerved about 150 feet,
couldn't right the car;

knowing I was fucked beyond belief,
I offered everything up
(360 once; 360 twice; 180 thrice)
car and guardrail united, bounced my focus
almost perpendicular to the road,
(benign snow everywhere cascading down.)

it must have been the drug, the celexa, that kept me calm,
allowed me to offer it all up...

I sat for a half hour before a wrecker came.
The guy knocked on the passenger window, opened the door.
"Can you get out?"
"Not sure. It's a little deep here."
"Try it. I'll wait."
The guy stopped traffic.
I got my focus back on the road.
drove home.
1135 pm sunday night. I shut my apartment door on the rain and cold.

My phone rang. I knew it was Janet.
She cried so hard and long.
I couldn't understand a word she said,
other than:

"I'm awake, right? I'm not dreaming? you're alive?"
I assured her I was alive and well.
She was not talking to my ghost....
-------------------------------------------------

The car is totaled.
I'm alive.
Didn't die.
What happens to me matters.
to 4 people in Janet Land.
(My birth family doesn't know about this near miss
yet.)

I'll let them know,
but maybe not until
i show up in mom's driveway
with a different Ford
Focus.

Maybe more on this at another time,
maybe not.

Depends on the "hits"
from the Devine....

Remember, Folks.

You never know.

Love well.
Love deep.
never worry
about what others think
of you...