This past weekend we flew Southwest Airlines for the first time, and it was quite an experience. They don't have assigned seating, but they have a way of loading the plane that makes up for it. There are three categories, A, B, and C and each boarding pass has a number from 1 - 60 within their letter group. Passengers are told to line up in numerical order when their letter is called, and there are signs there in the waiting area designating the numbers. It works very well, and I think it goes smoothly from the land side of the deal.

It costs $10 extra to be an A, but also very frequent fliers and higher fares get that letter. Then come the Bs, whom I suspect are frequent flyers and maybe business class, and then the lowly Cs.

What you probably don't realize your first trip with them is that there are no assigned seats, so all the A people get first choice of where to sit because they get on first. So they rush on and fill up the window and aisle seats according to personal preference, and even though they've been told the plane is sold out so there will be no empty seats, many of those traveling together optimistically choose to leave the middle seat empty. Then, here come the Bs and take what is left of the good seats so by the time the C passengers get on, all that is left are the center seats between the As and Bs.

It's a lot like musical chairs with the flight attendants announcing the plane is full, so sit anywhere and hurry up about it. There are some false hopes raised where small children are traveling because it looks like there are open seats, but once you get there, a wee tot is chortling in the window seat.

Therefore, going to Pittsburgh Mr. Troutbend was in the center seat between a fat middle-aged dad and his surly tobacco-chewing-spitting-into-a-clear-plastic bottle 20-year-old son. The son had the window seat and kept the shade down because he was watching movies on his electronic device.

I was more fortunate because the slender man on the aisle slid over to the middle seat and let me have the aisle. I think he figured some of my extra would ooze out the aisle side, and he had a slender guy next to him. We had a marvelous time talking about his work - coal-powered electricity generating plants. I'm not being sarcastic, I like that topic of conversation, and what kinds of cars we own, and asbestos, and water pollution and so on.

Coming back on Monday I went online and paid the $10 extra each to put us in the A category so we could sit together, and I'm glad I did. It was a 4 hour flight going east and supposed to be a 5 hour flight coming west, so that's a long time to watch someone spit tobacco. For some reason the headwinds were with us, and the flight home arrived 40 minutes early.

Coming back there was a medical emergency of some sort - they asked if anyone on board had medical training - but as far as we could tell it wasn't in the cockpit, so that's all we cared about. We were so far in the back we couldn't see anything, and that plane was crammed so full there really wasn't room for anyone to lie down.

Both directions we shared the air with celebrities: East-bound was Ray 'Boom-Boom' Mancini, famous lightweight boxer in the 70s and 80s. My seat mate told me all about him because they are from the same home town, Youngstown Ohio. We saw Mr. Boom-Boom at the baggage claim, and he was tiny, probably weighs 135 and is about 5' 4" or so. At one time Sports Illustrated designated him the best paid athlete in the world.

Coming home our celeb was Darnell Dinkins, tightend for the New Orleans Saints, formerly played for the Cleveland Browns. We didn't realize this for most of the trip, just thought he was a really tall black guy in a white warmup suit, until the stewardess had someone take her picture with him. She didn't really know who he was - when the people behind me asked her, she had to go ask him, and then they sent her back to ask him what team and what position because they'd never heard the name. He wrote it down for her on a cocktail napkin and she's going to save it.

It's possible this particular flight attendant was dipping into the booze because she got giddier and giddier as the flight progressed. She was Asian and loved to talk on the PA system so she told us if we have good things to say about flight 440, log in to Southwest.com and if we have complaints log in to Northwest.com. She was hard to understand so had to keep trying that joke on us throughout the flight until everyone got it. Then she tried to find dates for the male flight attendant by telling us he likes long walks on the beach, etc. Next, she made crowns out of empty peanut bags held together with coffee stirrers and gave them to a young couple who were flying to Las Vegas to get married in one of the chapels. They also received a bottle of champagne and were declared the King and Queen of the flight.

Next, we played the toilet paper race where each side of the aisle had to unroll it from front to back over the tops of the seats without breaking it. She said the winning team would receive more peanuts and the losing team would have to stay on the plane and clean up all the trash.

Then, someone told her about the gambling game where everyone who wants to play writes their seat number on a dollar bills and the cabin attendants collect them and the person whose bill is drawn wins the pot. They counted it so we'd know how much was at stake - $83 - and the wedding couple drew, and someone named Pasquale won.

By this time we were almost to Las Vegas, so she told us the Northwest.com joke again so finally most everyone understood what she was saying, and that they dearly love all of us, and if we hit a big jackpot to remember the flight attendants all wished us luck and good karma so we should come back and tip them.

Getting off in Las Vegas, there were at least 12 medium-old women in wheelchairs lined up outside the door waiting for someone to push them away. They might have been using that as a ruse to board early and get good seats, but now they had to wait for help getting around because it'd be hard to say they required a wheelchair when boarding the plane and then jump out of it and sprint down the concourse once the destination was reached.

Here's Darnell with the woman in the row behind me.



This is Darnell with the flight attendants. You can just see Miss Congeniality laughing next to him.



Scenery, part of the Grand Canyon, red cliffs glowing in the setting sun. Too bad there were clouds.



Scenery, leaving Pittsburgh.