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A Mother's Dictionary
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."
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