As I was driving to the great state of NY. I was filled with a renewed sense of optimism and hope. I don't know what the future will bring but I guess it has to be better than last year...

2008 was not a bad year. I got a new job which I like most days out of the week. This is a large improvement from the 7th circle of hell which did suck the ever living life out me. I moved into a new larger and closer apartment! I love it a lot.

The bad part.. well I loved someone (SD) who did not or would not love me back and I still miss this someone. I wish I could muster up the desire and courage to put myself out there but right now I feel like hibernating in a cave. It didn't work out and it sucks. Are all men going to behave this way no? Anyone would be lucky to be loved by me. I guess he was lucky, and I was unlucky for that love to not be returned. He won't go away. I dedicate the song Almost Lover to him... again. Last year this time I missed him too... And he was in KY as he is this year. I did not know this then. He was back here on January 6th. I felt his presence back here and dreamed of him coming back in my life. A week later he contacted me.

I can't repeat history but I do have a feeling he's coming back here. I don't know why or when or even how. Just a gut feeling. I want to get in a relationship now STAT so I can avoid getting back together with him for what would probably be the 10th time. This is my new year's resolution. To not date people I have previously dated. It didn't work out for a reason (see above).

Someone is out there for me...perhaps he's hiding behind the Rock of Gibraltar. Maybe I should go and check that out. HAHA.