Howdy, feller greasers,

Well, ah been thankin' bout takin' won uf them spac trips up to that thar spac stashun. A've maneged tuh save up sum munee frum me an Cuzzin' Buggs littl operashun out behin her hous thar in Devil's Ass, West Virginny.

Then, tuday ah find out ther toilet's on thu blink agin. Whut a mess (Oh, thar's a little play on words--ah thank yu high-fallutin' folks call that a pun!) Well, any ways, ahm readin bout this here toilet problem they's got on thu space stashun. And here's thu worse part--theys gut cumpnee comin' in jest a fu days frum now.

Seems won of them thar millyunairs is ketchin' a ride with a cuple uh Rushans and thar du tah be pullin' in jest about any day now.



Seein' as how thar's no plummer on bord, ther havin'a heck uf a tim. Now, this here tollet costs 19 millyun dollars an NASA jest bought anuther won from the Russhans, who build the thang. Ther sinden it up thar in November. Shore don't look lak much fer 19 millyun, if'n yuh ask me.

Why, Buggs 'n me cude made 'em won fer a whole lot less'n that. An we nev'r hav problems, cept when the Sears 'n Roebuck catalog don't show up on tim. Them thar sticks iz mightee ruff on thu butt; but sumtimes a persons jest gotta' do whut a persons gotta' do!!

But NASA is a sayin' they's got tuh hav anuther one. An ah shore don't wanna queshun how mah guv'munt spens are munee.
If'n are leeders say it's time fer thu spas stashun tuh becum uh a two-tolleter, why am shor ut is. Them politisians is uh heck uf a lot smarter thun me an I kno theys know whuts best.

Jest look at how gen'rus they's been with that thar stock market--given' 'em that thar 68 millyun. That wuz raght nice. Cors sumbudy tole me that thare big bank up thar in Warshinton can make more money anytimes they run short. That shore is good tuh kno. Why, ah maght ev'n ask 'em to mak sum fer Buggs 'n me. We're jest a small buznus 'n we's been a wundrin' how we wuz gonna git that secon' still. We's decided if'n they cun aford two tollets up on the spacstashun, surlee they could spare us a cuple hunerd.

Are local bank has quit loanin' us operatin' munee. We's been havin to pay are emploees with sum uf are pro'duc 'stead uh monee. They griped at furst; but lately they's been the happiset little worker bees yuh ever did see.

Onlee problum is they keep a fallin' sound asleep whil uh standin' up. Shore has slowed down per'duckshun. Mary, down ut Mary's Hooch 'n Smooch iz startin' tuh cumplain. She's a havin' to rashun drinks; then them thar guys gits mad and goes home to ther wives stead uh visitin' with thuh gals upstairs. Uh jest keep uh tellin' Mary times iz tuff all over, an we's all havin' tuh sacrufice right now. But tuh hav faith; are guvmunts fixin' ever'thang an we's all gonna' be livin' high on the hog agin fore's we kno ut!

Why, fore long ah hear tell they's ev'n gonna help us pay fer are docter bills. That'll shor be nice; Buggs 'n me been havin' a heck uv a time keepin' are boys inshured. Theys all gut a littre uh young'uns, an they's the punyest bunch ah thank ah evr saw. Doc sait ut had som'then tuh do with 'em all bein ruhlated; but, yuh kno, it wuz way ov'r mah head.

All's ah' kno iz whut ah here frum Mary un the gals ov'r ut her stablushmunt.

Well, ah gotta' git packed. Ah shore don't wanna' miss ouyt on that thar space trip. Ah'll let yuh kno how thangs go soon az we git back an thm thar Russhuns figur out zactly whar we is n trac us down.

C.J. Bugster