Thank you all, my good friends, for your well-intentioned advice.   Under normal circumstances you would be absolutely right. But this is a serious matter that has been hidden, lied about, and covered up way too long.
 An ignorant woman jumped to a conclusion about me that was absolutely, totally and completely not true.  She had no proof and no real reason to believe such a thing.
Gordon could never bring himself to tell me what had happened in the months we were apart. All he would say is, "I can't tell you."

But it changed him. He was totally confused about how he felt about me. I searched my mind. I considered the fact that his mother had said something negative about me; but I dismissed that idea. She hardly knew me. What bad thing could she possibly say? Never in my wildest dreams did I think she seriously believed I was anything but what I told her. Also, I could not imagine that she would be so cruel as to hurt her son. She had seen us together. She knew he loved me and that I loved him.

I should have known. My mother did the same thing. She tried everything she could think of to find out what had happened between us.

I told her to quit asking--that it was between Gordon and me; and that I WAS NOT going to talk to her or anyone else about it--and I never did until some thirty years later when I finally told my brother.

Then, she began to talk about all the things she didn't like about Gordon. I broke down, began crying and asked her not to say bad things about Gordon because when she did she was hurting me--not him.

She had never said a bad word about him until then. Why is it that mothers think they can make their kids feel better if they can find fault with the person they love? They only make them feel worse. And they can do serious damage. (Because of Gordon's mother's remarks, we both went through a lot of heartache for years.)

Me, because I just couldn't imagine WHAT was troubling Gordon. He would look at me with love in his eyes, hold me, then walk away.)I thought I had satisfactorily answered her question about why I had such dark skin. It was the middle of summer. I had a dark tan from swimming every day and water skiing twice a week; in spite of my answering her question as to what my nationality was--Irish,and French/Indian, though only about 1/64th Indian; (I jokingly added that there might be one or two others thrown in that I didn't know about--that I was just an "All-American" girl.)...in spite of my telling her that I DID NOT have curly hair.

(When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, the lab did a DNA profile. It did in fact reveal that I also had English blood in addition to the Irish, French, and Indian.)
She also wanted to know my religion.  I told her I was reared in the church of Christ.
"Are you a Mormon?"  she asked.
"No! No! No!  I am not a member of the Churches of Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I'm a member of the plain old church of Christ.  Don't you have a church of Christ in Bartlesville?"
She mumbled something to the effect that they did.

I had thought that Gordon and I would pick a church we both liked after we married./p>
Remember that all this occurred in 1963.  People's attitudes were much different then regarding religion and race.
Months later, Gordon and I were going through a serious break-up because of another matter in which both of us shared some blame.  She used that opportunity to dump her opinions of me on him--embellished by her idea of what she thought she knew. I can perhaps see some reason for her logic--she was an uneducated woman who did not know much about the world in which she lived. But for Gordon to allow her to get away with it. Completely beyond my comprehension.

All I can say is he picked the wrong horse to back. There was no one in the world who could have swayed me against him. Only he could do that.  We could have worked through our problem if he had only told her to drop it and never mention it again, because she didn't know what she was talking about.
Unfortunately, he has tried to bury all this through the years; still not being truthful even to today about what he did to precipitate our break-up that followed or what she said.
He's carrying around some serious secret sins that I hope he can find a way to resolve--not for my sake--I know my heart and soul have been cleansed because I have confessed my sins in front of man and God, asking for forgiveness; then changing my life--but for his.


Part of the Twelve-Step program for those who follow it is to return and make amends for the wrongs and the pain one has inflicted on other people.

Not once has he ever said he was sorry for his transgression or his mothter's.


There's a reason for that old expression, "Confession is good for the soul." It saves it!